2015 ,,, to 2016 ,,,

2015 ,,, what a year ,,, ,,, !!  did many bad things ,,, fail on my examination ,,, just get lost in life ,,, . I did umrah this year ,,, i got my promotion also ,,, and i have embem ,,, alhamdulillah ,,,  . How its feel ??? for all those happen ???? i feel ,,, lost ,,, hurt ,,, despicable ,,, . In this position ,,, in my lowest condition ,,, i want to raise my Lord ,,, to pray for my mother ,,, .

Hhhh ,,, i want to ,,, fix these mess ,,, but, i dont know the real issue is ,,,  i dont know ,,, . if i do the same ,,, i will fail again next ,,, am sure ,,, . Something wrong ,,, but i dont know what it is ,, i dont know ,,, why am so stupid yezh ,,, ???? . I just cant reach You ,,, why ???? whats wrong ???? is it because my relationship with my father ??? . i do ,, not make communication with him ,,, compare for what he did few years backward ,,, But i do not gave any bad things to him ,,, i watching him from distance ,,, from my side ,,,  i just not make communication with him. Is it because of this ??? this little things ??? little things that i thought am right compare for what he did to me ???? . or there is something else ??? . i dont know ,,, and am lost ,,, i cant think anymore ,,,

hmmhh ,,, xixiixixi ,,, right now ??? i still manipulate my mind for many bad things i hv done ,,, . I choose bad things this far ,,, just because i dont want to make bad thought to my Lord ,,, . My faith is so low ,,, .  I think i will start from beginning again ,, for everything ,,,

2016 ,,, i want to go back to the right path ,,, . Many technical can be done ,,, . Am so sure the result cant be guarantee ,, . It just am so tired ,,, and i cant be more far away from my Lord ,,, i cant ,,, . Outside the world ,,, in side of me ,,, it just me and You my Lord ,,, in the middle of us ??? there is my mom ,,, hehehhehe ,,, . Cant we just smile togather ???? 🙂

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