MiLestoNe

last ,, week ,, ??? or this week yezh ,, ??? my english teacher ,,, said that ,, ” too many rules in IsLam ,, ” ,,, he continues ,, ” but its ok ,, everything ( on all religions ) is good ,,, ” . Oh yezh ,, he is a canadian ,, and he is catholic ,,, . I said nothing ,,, hmmhh ,,, but you know what ,,, i hv others sight ,,, .

They said ,, isLam is too many rules ,,, and in my thought ,,, they have no clear rule ,,, because they have many version on holy books ,,, how it could be ,,, ??? . But he said ,,, IsLam also have many versions ,, islam in Sumatra is difference from java ,,, that is about culture ,,, . hmmhh ,,, unfortunately its reality from their side ,,, Not from Qur’an Side ,,, Qur’an hanya mengajarkan satu panduwan . Di Indonesia ,,, From Qur’an ,,, its adjust in culture needs ,,, . But, i think ,, if you see more clearly ,,, it will become unity again in high intelligent community ,,, . Because ,,, smart people ,, smart community ,,, menterjemahkan Qur’an dengan baik ,,, dengan sama ,,, . Karena Quran hanya satu ,,, satu panduwan ,, satu tujuan ,,, 🙂

But we cant debate on this ,,, i think ,,, . Everyone has their own believing ,, right ,,, ??? 🙂 ,,, . If you want to know more ,,, learn first ,, argue next ,,, 🙂

and somehow ,, its great to live in indonesia ,,, . We can beribadah dengan tenang di sini ,, di negeri ini ,,, . Tidak susah menemukan makanan halal ,,, tidak susah menemukan masjid or musholah ,,, tidak susah menemukan orang baik di indonesia ,,, 🙂

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#thought

welll ,,, tough week i think ,,,

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My father got inpatient at PeLni hospital since wednesday ,,, . But he already at home now ,,, . When he has to stay nigh at hospital ,, his HB’s value is 4 ,,, . Imagine ,,, 4 !!!!!! ,,, . I can imagine how its feel ,,, . Gw ajeee ,,, yang hb nya kemaren arround 10,,, rasanya badan dah ga karuan ,,, . My sister ,,, when she has caesar surgery ,,, her HB’s at 5 if am not wrong ,,, and she said ,,, it felt like to death ,,, . Weeww ,,, and how its feel at 4 ,,, ??? ,,, .

He is already so oollddd ,,, so sepuh ,,, . His nerve just getting weak,,, he cant full control his motorik functional ,,, . He said ,, he cant sleep well at night ,,, to much things to think ,,, . Eaaaaa ,,,, dah kek guwe ajeeeee ,,, . Udah tuwak masih ajah banyak pikiran yezh ,,, hehehhehe ,,, .

But ,,, maybe ,, litbit ,,, i know how its feel kok ,,, hehehheheh ,,,. We are persons ,,, who alert on death ,,, 🙂 ,,, . May aLLah swt ,,, give us ,,, forgiveness ,,, happiness ,,, mercy ,,, in this world and next ,,, aamiinn ,,, 🙂

anndd ,,, sssstt ,,, somehow ,,, outside ,,, ada orang ,,, that already talk about legacy ,,, . Xixixiixxii ,,, . I just smile ,,, . Ask me for sure ,,, we are not need that ,,, ,,, even you cant think bout that ,,, .  Ga kepikiran mikirin harta ,,, mikirin gimana caranya selamet di dunia dan akherat ajah ga kelar2 ,,,

bukan gw naive ga butuh harta ,,, Tuhan pun mengatur warisan agar tidak ada yang terzolimi ,,, . But If you are facing what we are facing ,,, you will really realize ,,, harta ituuuu tidak akan di bawa matii ,,, tidak akan ,, sungguh tidak akan ,,,  kecuwali dalam bentuk amal jariyah ,,, .  hhh ,,, i just answer from their side ,,, thats all their need, right,,, ??

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Hmmhh ,,, kenapa susah sekali jadi orang baik yezh ,,, ??? ,,, . Duluw pikiran guwe selalu liar bertanya tentang aLLah swt ,,, . Dan gw menghindarinya dengan memperbanyak zikir ,,, yang akhirannya kebysaan ,,, . Dan setelah sepertinya gw berhasil tidak memikirkan lebih tentang TuhaN ,,, pikiran ini beralih memikirkan banyak manusia ,,, . Hadjeeee ,,, . Mungkin ,, mungkin ,, ada kapasitas otak qt untuk mikir ,,, jadi tinggal alokasinya ajah mo di kemanain yezh ,,, . Udah quota nya segituh ,,, .

setan ,, iblis ,,, sudah ada lebih dahulu dari manusia ,,, mereka sangat berpengalaman dalam menggoda manusia ,,, . Hehehhehe ,, semoga aLLah mahu menyelamatkan kami dari godaan syetan yang terkutuk ,, aamiinn ya aLLah ,,, 🙂

Soo ,,, gimana caranya jadi orang baik yezh ,,, ???? ,,, . I ,, try to be better for my family ,,, my friends ,,, arround me ,,,  but i think ,, its alwayzh fail ,,, . Its hard to be a good person yezh ,,, ??? ,,, . alwayzh fail ,, because ,, am definitely bad person  maybe ??? hehehhehehe ,,, .

sometimes ,,, i think ,, why i hv tobe good to others ,,, ??? . ,,, i found the answer ,,, because ,,, mereka adalah mahluk Tuhan lainnya yang patut gw hormatin ,,, gw perlakukan baik ,,, . Kecuwali ,, mereka menghina kehormatan TuhaN ,,, . Menghormati ,,, they said ,, its not enough ,,, 🙂 ,,, it should be from your heart ,,, . Do you still have a heart fi ,,, ??? eaaaaaaaaaa ,,, wkwkkwkwkkw ,,, . #hadjeee ,, kapan jaiL guwa bisa ilang yezh ,,, ahuhuhuhuhu ,,, 🙂

in my mind ,,, gw tetep harus menghormati orang lain ,,, pun belum bisa dari hati ,,, . Sekalipun orang memperlakukan qt buruk ,,, its become their issues ,,, . Qt harus tetep berlaku baik ,,, karena qt punya nilay sendiri sebagai manusia ,,, yang tidak akan dimengerti oleh manusia yang ,,, “low” ,,, . Dan semua ini ,,, akan dinilay oleh Tuhan eventually  ,,, . So keep on it ,, 🙂 ,,, .

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Work ,,, . Oh dear Lord ,,, hadjeee ,,, for than last two weeks ,,, the bozh just got angry to me ,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,, . Padahal anak bininya dah di mari ,,, masih ajah yezh marah2 ,,, . Sekali lagi ,,, oh salah, untuk kesekian kali nya ,,, gw di marah2in karena kelalaian orang lain ,,, . Kesalahan gw ??? adalah berfikir orang akan melakukan seperti yang gw lakukan ,,, berfikir seperti yang gw fikirikan ,,, but they dont ,,, bahasa awamnya :: gw loose control ,,, . kikikikikikikikkk ,,,, .

Ah sudahlah yezh ,,, dont care at all juga seh ,,, . Why ,, jobs not on my priority yezh ,,, ??? i will think bout the jobs on office hour ,,, week dayzh ,,, . But after that ,, am not thinking any more ,, . Is it because ,, its not challenging any more ??? i think so ,, hehehheheheheh ,, 🙂 ,,, .

Pun gw udah berumur yzh ,,, masih kepikiran seh wat pindah kerjak ,, tapiii ,, hadjee ,, idup sehari ga pake issue kesehatn ajah dah keren ,,, apa kabar kalo kerjak makin berat yak ,, eaaaaaaa ,,,, wkwkkwkkwkwk ,,, . aM already that lucky kook having jobs in Aji ,,, get enough  income ,,, . Yezh ,, many bills ,,, but ,,, i think its still can handle out ,,, . Kerjak di aji ga berat ,,, gaji lumayan ,, cocok wat orang kek guwe ,,, . Alhamdulillah for everything in my life ,, . Di omel2in orang ,, ?? ahh ,,, peduli amad ,, wkakkakakakkak ,,, 🙂

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I  just a woman ,,, who following God wiLLs ,,, 🙂

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#daiLy, #MeTime

you know ,,, i rare remember bout my dreamzh ,,, but when i remember one ,,, it will happen mostly ,,, . And i told many times ,, i “see” things in my dreamzh ,,, 🙂 ,,,  .  So far i dont care at aLL ,,, .When it comes happens ,,  i just said ,,, oh i hv dream before bout this one ,, . xixiixixix ,,, 🙂 ,,, .

But now ,,, when i see things in my dreamzh ,,, i said to my self ,,, :: well ,,, at least ,, i will live till that time ,,, 🙂 ,,, . Fair enough ,,, right ,,, ??? xixiixixix ,,, .

#Idup udah susah ,,, jangan di buwat lebih susah ,,, hehehhehe ,,

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#next

this night ,,, i just eat and at the same time ??? watching the tv ,,, already so looonng not doing this ,,, xxiixix ,, . At home, i dont like eat at bed room ,,, eat at dining room ,,, . hehehhe ,,, . well ,,, am enjoying one ,,, ,, . And i saw ,,, a commercial break ,,, with slogan :: Life is race ,,, ,,, . hehehhehe ,,, for me ,, today ,,,

,,, Life is grateful ,,,

iyezh ,,, alhamdulillah sangat for tudeyzh ,,, . After my “period” ,, i just ,, ” on the track again ” ,,, . I can feel so happy ,,, so grateful ,,, so calm down ,,, 🙂 ,,, .  The main point is ,,, am grateful for can be thankful ,,, for every single thing in my life ,,, . What a bless  life ,, isnt it ,, ?? 🙂 🙂 🙂 ,, . Hopefully ,, everyone out there ,,, can feel the same ,,, grateful to aLLah swt ,,, 🙂

and hey ,,,  i had shaum for tudeyzh ,,, and am ok ,,, alhamdulillah ,,,  xixiixixixi ,, .

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Today ,,, one of my friend ,,, senior one ,,, said ” habis badan kamu, fi ,,, ” ,,, xiixixix ,, iyezh pak ,,, . tapi ini dah naek 2 kilo ko ,,, dah 47-48 lagi ,,, entah timbangannya yang rusak or semesta hanya ingin membuwat gw bahagia ,,, xixiixixi 🙂 ,,, . Am gonna be ok kok ,,, ,,, as alwayzh ,,, 🙂

xixixixi ,,, for me ,,, its nothing different any more ,,, hehehheeh 🙂 ,,, it just life anyway ,,, right ,,, ??? . Semoga ,,, bisa sehat sampe akhir ,,, tidak menyusahkan orang2 ,,, aamiinn ,, 🙂

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btw ,,, masa mbem di katain odong2 ,,, cediihh ,,, . gegara orang2 besar masuk mbem ,,, jadi mbem berasa kecil banged dah ,,, ahuhuhuhuhuhu ,,, . Yang sabar yh mbem ,,, mereka hanya tidak mengenalmuwh better ,,, heheheheh ,, 🙂

and so traffic jam by this night ,,, . its took 2 hours from sunter to kembangan ,,, . He to the Looohh ,,, helloohh ,,, ?? wakkakakkakak ,,, . Untung mbem irit yezh ,,, xxiixiixix ,, , 🙂

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and ,,, the last ,,, i ate at the end of the day ,,, . Because ,,, somehow ,,, get eat ,,, just make so weak ,,, . So ,,, i do that on the end of the day ,,, thus, i just get rest then ,,, xixixiixixi ,,, .

actually ,,, i still don get it ,, why get eat makes me that weak yezh  ,,, ??? . Hmmhh ,,, xixiixix ,,, maybe i will find the answer next ,,, 🙂

now ,,, its time to bed ,,, , Night aLL ,,, . May happiness upon of you ,, 🙂

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#daiLy, #MeTime, friends

,,, ketika ,, mata ini ,,, bisa melihat banyak haL ,,,

di pikir2 ,,, gw dah jarang sharing any thought in my miley yezh ,, xixiixix ,,, . I dont know why ,,, it just ,,, i think ,,, the key  of life ,,, :: Esa kan Tuhan aLLah SWT ,, Takutlah padaNya ,, Dia tidak ingin di bantah ,, patuhi Dia ,,, berfikirlah dari sisi Tuhan aLLah swt ,,, i mean ,, jika ingin bertindak ,, berfikirlah ,, apakah ini benar menurut aLLah swt ,,, .

and all of that ,, will be so hard ko applied in our dailies ,,, . With all of duniyawi things ,, with your mind,, hormone ,,, and lust ,,, its will be so hard and more often forgotten ,,, . But in this case ,,, i think the answer to solve one is ,, keep read Qur’an daiLy ,,, it works ,,, . Dengan meyakini quran itu adalah bahasa iLLahi ,, and read everyday ,, so we learn everyday from the God ,,, to be tight connected to the God ,,, tobe safe ,, to covering your mind and do dailies ,,, ,,

thats it ,, . Hidup ini akan kembali padaNya ,, Kuncinya ya itu ,, ga kemana mana dan ga di mana2 ,,, .

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weeeww ,,, its sundayyy ,,, . Alhamdulillah ,, for everything ,, including ,, for increasing bill ,, jiakakakkakak ,,, #happy can laugh loudly ,,, xxiixixiix ,, 😛 ,,, .

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You know what ,, because of my body is just get skinny day by day ,,, and somehow ,, when i use my existing clothes ,, its just like i wearing a jacket ,, aka rasa kegedan bingiidd ,,, ,,, xiixixix ,,, . It seems need to change M to S ,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,, and its applies for all my trousers ,,, aahhahhaha ,, .

eh ,, ??? its sound another bill fi ,, ??? xixiixixix ,,, . wkwkkwkwkw ,,, and it sound that am not effort yet ,, hehehhehe ,,, 😀 ,,, . So ,, for get it ,, xiiixiixi ,,, aman lah yezh ,,, 🙂

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hey ,, am off from coffee ,,, for the last three dayzh ,, horeee ,,  i can make it ,, ihiiiyy ,, . Friday, Saturday and now ,, sunday ,,, not consume coffee ,,, . Cool isnt it ,, ?? xiixixi prikitiiww ,,, 🙂 .

I just treat my body ajah seeh ,,, . Coffee somehow make me stronger ,, but it will makes me so weak at the end of the day ,,, . I think ,, i have to reduce one ,, . xixiixixixi  ,,, . Dolow i have eager to reduce one because of my gaster disorder ,,, and now ?? because of my strength ,,, xixiixixixi ,,, ..

later ,, if already strong enough ,, consume coffee lageeee ,,, ehehheheheh 🙂

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i want to more silent next ,,, heheheh ,, just reminding my self ,,, makllum ,, suka khilaf ,,, xixiixixixixi ,,,

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,,, hard to wait for this moment ,,, and finally its come ,,,  litbit crowded at first ,,  but God make it right some how ,,, i see my body in the mirror ,,, its us now ,,, and i smile ,, not complain at all ,, my heart ,,, sincere ,, say thank you for every single thing that you already done for me ,,, really i do thankful for this ,,, for the past ,, for the future will come ,,, to gather ,,,

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#MeTime, #thought

#cantik #luthu #imute #botcah #sayu #sakit #35 y/o

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am perfectionist one ,,, but there is nothing so perfect in my life ,, (kalo ga mo di bilang blangsak seh ,, xixiixxi ) ,, .

Hmmhh ,, and you know what ,,, Lucky, bad things ,,, sad happy ,,, ,, it all just about colaborate of thought and hormon ,,, . dont you agree with me ,,, ??? iixixiixxi ,,, .  Many things in my life ,,, kick me down ,,, and i down ,,, ahhahaha ,,, but umh ,,, i dont care ,,, . xixiixix ,,, maybe its because too much kicks ,, ?? ahahhahah ,,, .

Ahhh ,,, no,, i just want to live with happiness ,,, override things that make me sad, bad and others ,,, . I cant live with sadness unhappy things or others bad things ,,, i choose to be happy ,,, definitely ,,, . and right now ,, i just think how to make my life better ,,, . hehehehe ,,, . Kenapa idup gw ga pernah bener yak ??? xiixixixi ,,,

#tulisan ini ,,, gonna be really curcol ,,, xiixixix

right now ,,, i just feel ,,, in the edge of life ,,, . When i see peoples ,,, others outside of me  ,,, duniyawi things ,,, i just feel ,,, am not that part anymore ,,, disingkirkan ,, tersingkirkan ,,, segera oleh taqdir ,,, and somehow its make me litbit sad ,,, .

I do miss my Lord ,,, so much ,,, so much ,,, . Aku menantikan pertemuanku dengan Nya ,,, definitely ,,, it just ,,, so many sins that i have done ,,, so many bad things in life ,, that i cant paid with goodness or anything ,,, . Jadi ,,, gw pasrah ajah ,,, . Semoga bisa bertemu dengan Tuhan kuw dalam keadaan baik ,,, aamiinn ya robbal alamiinnnn ,,, .

But you know what ,,, sekarang ,,, aq benar2 tidak mengeluh padaMu Tuhan ,,, untuk semua yang terjadi ,,, untuk semua taqdir ,,, dalam hidupkuwh ,,, . Engkaw bisa lihat ,, aq tidak mengeluh ,,, . Am good ,,, right ??? hehhehehe ,,,

the point is ,,, right now ,,, i think ,,, i just loosing what is my purpose in this world ,,, thats all ,,, 🙂

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hhh ,,, sooo ,,, what happen to the world ,,, ??? ,,, welll ,, really sooooo borrreeedd with the job ,,, indeeeeddd ,,, .  Oh dear Lord ,,, . Really want to get new Job ,,, get new challenge ,,, . #fi ,, mo tantangan ,, ?? yakeenn ,,, ??? bikin sehat/fit sehari ajah idup lo dah achievement ko ,,, we both know that ,,, ahahhahahha ,,, # . wakakkakakkakak ,,, iya juga yak ,,, . Sekarang gw bahkan ga berani wat nongki2 di strbx after office hour ,,, takut malah ga bisa pulang ,,, aka tepar di tkp ,,, secara malam dah sisa sisa tenaga guwa ,,  wakkakakakkakakk ,, .

Last friday ,,, mbak wee ,, asked us to maksi at ITC ,,, . Heeee ?? huwaatttsss ??? wakakkakakkak ,,, . You know what i did before maksi ??? drink 2 glasses of sugar water ,,, to make my body more strong enough ,,, jiakkakakkakakak ,,, . And am good as long as maksi time ,,, yihaaaaa ,,, . Still, at afternoon ,,, have to go home earlier to get rest ,,, ah! plus one panadol extra before went to bed,,,  xixiixixixiix ,,,, . aman lah yezh  ,,, .

iyezh ,,, keknya PR banged yezh ,,, make  my body strong enough ,,, at least ,,, fit enough to do my dailies ,,, include nongki2 at starbux after  office hour ,,, hehehhehe ,,, 🙂

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my fathers health getting worst ,, . The doctor said ,,, it just all of his nerve is just getting less function ,, aka faktor U ,,, . i see all of this ,,, just ,,, this is life ,, . Really not meant to be rough ,,, but, who will go first ,,, ??? hehehhehe ,,, . Of course i know the answer ,, from my side of course ,,, hehehhehe ,,, .

semogaaa ,, everyhing ,, just fine ,,, from aLLah swt side ,,, aamiinn ,,, 🙂

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sumpah ,,, !! gw bener2 butuh swasana baru ,,, mungkin swasana di kota santri??? ,, eaaa ,,, xiixixixi ,,, . yup ,, bikin badan kuwat duluw ,,, baru deh ,, lanjutin semua plan2 lainnya ,,,

semoga selalu baik dalam pandangan aLLah yezh fi ,,, aamiinn ,, 🙂

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