MiLestoNe

Merdekaaa ,, !!!  Semoga Indonesia jaya terush ,,, d berikan keselamatan oleh Tuhan aLLah swt ,, aamiinnn ,,,  🙂

Weeeewww ,,, it seems hv to pay much for last night ,,, eaaaaaaa ,,,,, .  Untung beneran ni ari lebor ,,, kalo ga, pasti ga masuk ,,, kwkwkwkwkek

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ummhh ,,, found something last night ,,, from the pass ,,, . Why its have to comes now ,,, ??? why now ,,, ???? ,,, and ummhh ,,, its hurt so much ,,, . gw ga mampu lagi membenci ,,, gw ga punya waktu untuk membalas ,,, tapi gw juga ga mampu untuk memaafkan ,,, lagipula ,,, gw sudah liat sebagian karmanya . Dia ,, sungguh tidak tahu ,,, apa yang telah di perbuwatnya ke guwe ,,, .

ummhh ,,, gw ini emang orang jahat yezh ,,, . Gw ini jail maksimal ,, di satu sisi ,,, its easy for me ,,, tapi di sisi orang yang gw kerjain ,,, mungkin itu too much ,,, . dan itu terkumpul daalam banyak tahun ,,, . And finally ,,, i got my karma ,,, . Bagi dia ,,, ini mungkin hal bysa ,,, tapi bagi gw ,,, ini hal besar ,, .

Hmpphh ,,, each of us have our karma ,,, . If i decide something for next,,, let it be ,,, let it be my risk to have ,,, right ,,, ???

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capek ,,, lemezh banged eh ,, . its should be get rest by today ,,, but hhh ,,, feel so undelicious ,,, eaa ,, hheheh #haring ,,, .

pengen punya rumah sendiri eh ,,, . Tapi ampun oh ampun ,,, ga mmpu ,,, eaaaaaaaaaa ,, wkwkwkkwkwk ,,, 🙂 ,,,

i think ,,, i can more silent for last two dayzh ,,, . It will more for next ,,, heheheheh ,,, 🙂 ,,, 🙂 🙂 🙂

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#daiLy, #MeTime, #thought

,, can i forgive you ,,, duhay mahluk Tuhan ,,, ??? ,,, sungguh ,,, sungguh ,,, hanya Tuhan aLLah yg mampu memaafkan muwh ,,, jujur ,,, aq tidak mampu ,,, sampai mati pun ,,, aq tidak mampu ,,, 

Semoga Tuhan aLLah swt memberikan kasih sayang nya wat qt semua ,,,

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Baru ajah seneng semangad dengan 48 Kg ,,, #abis nimbang di RS ,,, pastinya tuh timbangan di kalibrasi yezh ,,, , tetiba sore ini dah berasa tepar lageee ,,, eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ,,, xixiixiix ,, . can not be too much yezh ,,, apalagi gw lagi berusaha bayar pwasa ,, wwkwkkwkwkwk ,,, . Keknya ,,, next week lagi bayar shaumnya ,,, xixixixi ,,

tau ga ,,, rasa seger dikit tuh ,,, rasanya ,,, bisa menggapai seluruh duniya ,,, rasa bisa on the track lagi di keduniyawian ,,, tapi kalo dah tepar ,,, rasa selese dah ,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,, wakkakakkaka ,,, lebay banged yh guwe ,,, xixiixixixi ,,, . Sing penting gw dah bisa 48 lage ,, weeekkk ,,, !! septh besok dah bisa donor lageee ,, weekkk ,, ,bhaayy !!! xixixiixix ,,,

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besok kemerdekaaannn ,, besok leboorr ,, besok istirohat ,, alhamdulillah ,,, xixiixixi ,,,  eaaaaaaaaaaaa ,,,,

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hmmhh ,,, gw ,, lagi mencari2 ,,, cara biar bisa menghapus dosa2 gw selama ini ,, as technically ,,, . Xixixixixi ,,, . Dah berusaha idup bener ajah sehari dah bagus ,,, . Tuhan maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang ,,, maha pengampun ,,, maha pemurah ,,, . Semoga ,,, Dia mahu memaafkan semua yang lalu ,,, aamiinn ,,, . Dosa guwa terlalu banyak ,, . How come duluw gw bisa berlaku seperti itu kepada Tuhan yezh ,, ?? masya aLLah ,,, . Sekarang teeh kalo kepikir, di otak malah bilang :: ga punya otak apa lu fi ??? eddaaannnn ,,, !!! masya allah ,,, . Bukan masalah teknikal dosa yang sudah gw lakukan ,,, tapi how come gw bisa berfikir ke Tuhan aLLah seperti itu ?? pernah marah ,,, ga solat ,, etc ,,, uced deh yezh ,,, masya allah ,,, ga kepikir lagi dah sekarang mah ,, ga sanggup ,,, 🙁  ,,, dear lord ,,,

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Btw ,,, di sekeliling guwa ,,, banyak yang muallaf ,,, ya serikk ,, ya yohanes ,, ya tauk sapah lagi ,,, xixiixixix  ,,, alhamdulillah yezh ,,, . Somehow ,,, gw jadi merasakan rahmat Tuhan di sekeliling guwe ,,, . I hope one of my friend ,,, ***** ,,, bisa muallaf juga ,,, hehheheheh ,,, . Sometimes i just said to my self ,, , tinggal nunggu waktunya ajah ,,, . Padahal mah ,,, doi taat dalam agamanya ,, hehehehhe ,, . yaaah ,,, namanya juga ngarep yezh ciiinttt ,,, kekekekkekekk ,,, 🙂

But somehow ,,, i dont know ,, how to make someone non muslim understand about islam ,,, even for muslim ,,, . I think ,, its hard to make others understand bout islam, from my mouth explanation ,,, . Because ,,, every things ,,, become from your life experiences ,,, so its hard to make equal answer/explanation from others side ,,, considering everyone has their own life experiences for sure ,,, .

So ,,, because am not good on this one ,,, i give big appreciate to others ,, who can guide others to understand islam ,,, its cool yunoh ,,, very cool ,,, cool tumaacchh ,,, . Pun, eventually ,,, its all about rahmat aLLah ,,, kasih sayang allah ,,, hidayah aLLah ,,, 🙂 ,,, .

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Sekarang ,, gw lagi doyan ke kuburan ,,, . Kalo ada waktu wiken ,, eh bukan,,, wiken ,, sebelum jalan kemana pun ,,, gw selalu sempetin ziarah ke makam emak ,,, say hellow – berdoa — wat semua yang di sanah ,,, semoga qt semua mendapat rahmatNya yezh ,, amiinn ya aLLah ,,, . Untung deket kuburan emak ,,, mo jalan kemanapun pasti liwatin or di liwat2in ,,, eaaaaaaaaaaaa ,,, xixiixixi

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why am so happy yezh ,,, ??? eaaaaaaaaaa ,,, . for the un counting times ,,, my life is not good ,,, but i feel so blessed ,,, . Sure ,, i dont know aLLah swt look at me now and next ,,, but ,,, maybe ,,, because am a person who live in hope ,, good hope ,,, . dan gw ,, berharap baik pada Tuhankuw ,,, 🙂  ,,, and it seems ,, somehow ,,, its more than enough ,,, masya aLLah yezh  ,,, 🙂 🙂 🙂 ,,, .

::. the main point being blessed is ,,, i still have a time to get back ,,, 🙂 ,,, eaaaaaaa ,,,,

Dont care at aLL juga for what others think and comment about me ,,, not at aLL ,,, . Yezh ,,, i have bad stories ,,, yezh ,,, its me ,,, its passed ,,, . What ever it is ,,, i dont expecting others see me for my passed ,,, now and my future ,,, . Sing penting ,,, bagaimana aLLah melihatkuwh sekarang dan ke depannya ,,, semoga baiikk ,, amiinn ,,, eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ,,,

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malam ini ,,, aq merindukan mereka ,,, orang2 baik di sekelilingkuwh ,,, semoga ,,, aLLah swt ,,, selalu memberikan keselamatan kebahagiaan kebaikan di dunia dan akhirat ,,, aaminn ya aLLah ,,, 🙂

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#daiLy, #happiness, #MeTime

last ,, week ,, ??? or this week yezh ,, ??? my english teacher ,,, said that ,, ” too many rules in IsLam ,, ” ,,, he continues ,, ” but its ok ,, everything ( on all religions ) is good ,,, ” . Oh yezh ,, he is a canadian ,, and he is catholic ,,, . I said nothing ,,, hmmhh ,,, but you know what ,,, i hv others sight ,,, .

They said ,, isLam is too many rules ,,, and in my thought ,,, they have no clear rule ,,, because they have many version on holy books ,,, how it could be ,,, ??? . But he said ,,, IsLam also have many versions ,, islam in Sumatra is difference from java ,,, that is about culture ,,, . hmmhh ,,, unfortunately its reality from their side ,,, Not from Qur’an Side ,,, Qur’an hanya mengajarkan satu panduwan . Di Indonesia ,,, From Qur’an ,,, its adjust in culture needs ,,, . But, i think ,, if you see more clearly ,,, it will become unity again in high intelligent community ,,, . Because ,,, smart people ,, smart community ,,, menterjemahkan Qur’an dengan baik ,,, dengan sama ,,, . Karena Quran hanya satu ,,, satu panduwan ,, satu tujuan ,,, 🙂

But we cant debate on this ,,, i think ,,, . Everyone has their own believing ,, right ,,, ??? 🙂 ,,, . If you want to know more ,,, learn first ,, argue next ,,, 🙂

and somehow ,, its great to live in indonesia ,,, . We can beribadah dengan tenang di sini ,, di negeri ini ,,, . Tidak susah menemukan makanan halal ,,, tidak susah menemukan masjid or musholah ,,, tidak susah menemukan orang baik di indonesia ,,, 🙂

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#thought

welll ,,, tough week i think ,,,

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My father got inpatient at PeLni hospital since wednesday ,,, . But he already at home now ,,, . When he has to stay nigh at hospital ,, his HB’s value is 4 ,,, . Imagine ,,, 4 !!!!!! ,,, . I can imagine how its feel ,,, . Gw ajeee ,,, yang hb nya kemaren arround 10,,, rasanya badan dah ga karuan ,,, . My sister ,,, when she has caesar surgery ,,, her HB’s at 5 if am not wrong ,,, and she said ,,, it felt like to death ,,, . Weeww ,,, and how its feel at 4 ,,, ??? ,,, .

He is already so oollddd ,,, so sepuh ,,, . His nerve just getting weak,,, he cant full control his motorik functional ,,, . He said ,, he cant sleep well at night ,,, to much things to think ,,, . Eaaaaa ,,,, dah kek guwe ajeeeee ,,, . Udah tuwak masih ajah banyak pikiran yezh ,,, hehehhehe ,,, .

But ,,, maybe ,, litbit ,,, i know how its feel kok ,,, hehehheheh ,,,. We are persons ,,, who alert on death ,,, 🙂 ,,, . May aLLah swt ,,, give us ,,, forgiveness ,,, happiness ,,, mercy ,,, in this world and next ,,, aamiinn ,,, 🙂

anndd ,,, sssstt ,,, somehow ,,, outside ,,, ada orang ,,, that already talk about legacy ,,, . Xixixiixxii ,,, . I just smile ,,, . Ask me for sure ,,, we are not need that ,,, ,,, even you cant think bout that ,,, .  Ga kepikiran mikirin harta ,,, mikirin gimana caranya selamet di dunia dan akherat ajah ga kelar2 ,,,

bukan gw naive ga butuh harta ,,, Tuhan pun mengatur warisan agar tidak ada yang terzolimi ,,, . But If you are facing what we are facing ,,, you will really realize ,,, harta ituuuu tidak akan di bawa matii ,,, tidak akan ,, sungguh tidak akan ,,,  kecuwali dalam bentuk amal jariyah ,,, .  hhh ,,, i just answer from their side ,,, thats all their need, right,,, ??

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Hmmhh ,,, kenapa susah sekali jadi orang baik yezh ,,, ??? ,,, . Duluw pikiran guwe selalu liar bertanya tentang aLLah swt ,,, . Dan gw menghindarinya dengan memperbanyak zikir ,,, yang akhirannya kebysaan ,,, . Dan setelah sepertinya gw berhasil tidak memikirkan lebih tentang TuhaN ,,, pikiran ini beralih memikirkan banyak manusia ,,, . Hadjeeee ,,, . Mungkin ,, mungkin ,, ada kapasitas otak qt untuk mikir ,,, jadi tinggal alokasinya ajah mo di kemanain yezh ,,, . Udah quota nya segituh ,,, .

setan ,, iblis ,,, sudah ada lebih dahulu dari manusia ,,, mereka sangat berpengalaman dalam menggoda manusia ,,, . Hehehhehe ,, semoga aLLah mahu menyelamatkan kami dari godaan syetan yang terkutuk ,, aamiinn ya aLLah ,,, 🙂

Soo ,,, gimana caranya jadi orang baik yezh ,,, ???? ,,, . I ,, try to be better for my family ,,, my friends ,,, arround me ,,,  but i think ,, its alwayzh fail ,,, . Its hard to be a good person yezh ,,, ??? ,,, . alwayzh fail ,, because ,, am definitely bad person  maybe ??? hehehhehehe ,,, .

sometimes ,,, i think ,, why i hv tobe good to others ,,, ??? . ,,, i found the answer ,,, because ,,, mereka adalah mahluk Tuhan lainnya yang patut gw hormatin ,,, gw perlakukan baik ,,, . Kecuwali ,, mereka menghina kehormatan TuhaN ,,, . Menghormati ,,, they said ,, its not enough ,,, 🙂 ,,, it should be from your heart ,,, . Do you still have a heart fi ,,, ??? eaaaaaaaaaa ,,, wkwkkwkwkkw ,,, . #hadjeee ,, kapan jaiL guwa bisa ilang yezh ,,, ahuhuhuhuhu ,,, 🙂

in my mind ,,, gw tetep harus menghormati orang lain ,,, pun belum bisa dari hati ,,, . Sekalipun orang memperlakukan qt buruk ,,, its become their issues ,,, . Qt harus tetep berlaku baik ,,, karena qt punya nilay sendiri sebagai manusia ,,, yang tidak akan dimengerti oleh manusia yang ,,, “low” ,,, . Dan semua ini ,,, akan dinilay oleh Tuhan eventually  ,,, . So keep on it ,, 🙂 ,,, .

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Work ,,, . Oh dear Lord ,,, hadjeee ,,, for than last two weeks ,,, the bozh just got angry to me ,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,, . Padahal anak bininya dah di mari ,,, masih ajah yezh marah2 ,,, . Sekali lagi ,,, oh salah, untuk kesekian kali nya ,,, gw di marah2in karena kelalaian orang lain ,,, . Kesalahan gw ??? adalah berfikir orang akan melakukan seperti yang gw lakukan ,,, berfikir seperti yang gw fikirikan ,,, but they dont ,,, bahasa awamnya :: gw loose control ,,, . kikikikikikikikkk ,,,, .

Ah sudahlah yezh ,,, dont care at all juga seh ,,, . Why ,, jobs not on my priority yezh ,,, ??? i will think bout the jobs on office hour ,,, week dayzh ,,, . But after that ,, am not thinking any more ,, . Is it because ,, its not challenging any more ??? i think so ,, hehehheheheheh ,, 🙂 ,,, .

Pun gw udah berumur yzh ,,, masih kepikiran seh wat pindah kerjak ,, tapiii ,, hadjee ,, idup sehari ga pake issue kesehatn ajah dah keren ,,, apa kabar kalo kerjak makin berat yak ,, eaaaaaaa ,,,, wkwkkwkkwkwk ,,, . aM already that lucky kook having jobs in Aji ,,, get enough  income ,,, . Yezh ,, many bills ,,, but ,,, i think its still can handle out ,,, . Kerjak di aji ga berat ,,, gaji lumayan ,, cocok wat orang kek guwe ,,, . Alhamdulillah for everything in my life ,, . Di omel2in orang ,, ?? ahh ,,, peduli amad ,, wkakkakakakkak ,,, 🙂

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I  just a woman ,,, who following God wiLLs ,,, 🙂

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#daiLy, #MeTime

you know ,,, i rare remember bout my dreamzh ,,, but when i remember one ,,, it will happen mostly ,,, . And i told many times ,, i “see” things in my dreamzh ,,, 🙂 ,,,  .  So far i dont care at aLL ,,, .When it comes happens ,,  i just said ,,, oh i hv dream before bout this one ,, . xixiixixix ,,, 🙂 ,,, .

But now ,,, when i see things in my dreamzh ,,, i said to my self ,,, :: well ,,, at least ,, i will live till that time ,,, 🙂 ,,, . Fair enough ,,, right ,,, ??? xixiixixix ,,, .

#Idup udah susah ,,, jangan di buwat lebih susah ,,, hehehhehe ,,

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#next

this night ,,, i just eat and at the same time ??? watching the tv ,,, already so looonng not doing this ,,, xxiixix ,, . At home, i dont like eat at bed room ,,, eat at dining room ,,, . hehehhe ,,, . well ,,, am enjoying one ,,, ,, . And i saw ,,, a commercial break ,,, with slogan :: Life is race ,,, ,,, . hehehhehe ,,, for me ,, today ,,,

,,, Life is grateful ,,,

iyezh ,,, alhamdulillah sangat for tudeyzh ,,, . After my “period” ,, i just ,, ” on the track again ” ,,, . I can feel so happy ,,, so grateful ,,, so calm down ,,, 🙂 ,,, .  The main point is ,,, am grateful for can be thankful ,,, for every single thing in my life ,,, . What a bless  life ,, isnt it ,, ?? 🙂 🙂 🙂 ,, . Hopefully ,, everyone out there ,,, can feel the same ,,, grateful to aLLah swt ,,, 🙂

and hey ,,,  i had shaum for tudeyzh ,,, and am ok ,,, alhamdulillah ,,,  xixiixixixi ,, .

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Today ,,, one of my friend ,,, senior one ,,, said ” habis badan kamu, fi ,,, ” ,,, xiixixix ,, iyezh pak ,,, . tapi ini dah naek 2 kilo ko ,,, dah 47-48 lagi ,,, entah timbangannya yang rusak or semesta hanya ingin membuwat gw bahagia ,,, xixiixixi 🙂 ,,, . Am gonna be ok kok ,,, ,,, as alwayzh ,,, 🙂

xixixixi ,,, for me ,,, its nothing different any more ,,, hehehheeh 🙂 ,,, it just life anyway ,,, right ,,, ??? . Semoga ,,, bisa sehat sampe akhir ,,, tidak menyusahkan orang2 ,,, aamiinn ,, 🙂

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btw ,,, masa mbem di katain odong2 ,,, cediihh ,,, . gegara orang2 besar masuk mbem ,,, jadi mbem berasa kecil banged dah ,,, ahuhuhuhuhuhu ,,, . Yang sabar yh mbem ,,, mereka hanya tidak mengenalmuwh better ,,, heheheheh ,, 🙂

and so traffic jam by this night ,,, . its took 2 hours from sunter to kembangan ,,, . He to the Looohh ,,, helloohh ,,, ?? wakkakakkakak ,,, . Untung mbem irit yezh ,,, xxiixiixix ,, , 🙂

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and ,,, the last ,,, i ate at the end of the day ,,, . Because ,,, somehow ,,, get eat ,,, just make so weak ,,, . So ,,, i do that on the end of the day ,,, thus, i just get rest then ,,, xixixiixixi ,,, .

actually ,,, i still don get it ,, why get eat makes me that weak yezh  ,,, ??? . Hmmhh ,,, xixiixix ,,, maybe i will find the answer next ,,, 🙂

now ,,, its time to bed ,,, , Night aLL ,,, . May happiness upon of you ,, 🙂

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#daiLy, #MeTime, friends

,,, ketika ,, mata ini ,,, bisa melihat banyak haL ,,,

di pikir2 ,,, gw dah jarang sharing any thought in my miley yezh ,, xixiixix ,,, . I dont know why ,,, it just ,,, i think ,,, the key  of life ,,, :: Esa kan Tuhan aLLah SWT ,, Takutlah padaNya ,, Dia tidak ingin di bantah ,, patuhi Dia ,,, berfikirlah dari sisi Tuhan aLLah swt ,,, i mean ,, jika ingin bertindak ,, berfikirlah ,, apakah ini benar menurut aLLah swt ,,, .

and all of that ,, will be so hard ko applied in our dailies ,,, . With all of duniyawi things ,, with your mind,, hormone ,,, and lust ,,, its will be so hard and more often forgotten ,,, . But in this case ,,, i think the answer to solve one is ,, keep read Qur’an daiLy ,,, it works ,,, . Dengan meyakini quran itu adalah bahasa iLLahi ,, and read everyday ,, so we learn everyday from the God ,,, to be tight connected to the God ,,, tobe safe ,, to covering your mind and do dailies ,,, ,,

thats it ,, . Hidup ini akan kembali padaNya ,, Kuncinya ya itu ,, ga kemana mana dan ga di mana2 ,,, .

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weeeww ,,, its sundayyy ,,, . Alhamdulillah ,, for everything ,, including ,, for increasing bill ,, jiakakakkakak ,,, #happy can laugh loudly ,,, xxiixixiix ,, 😛 ,,, .

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You know what ,, because of my body is just get skinny day by day ,,, and somehow ,, when i use my existing clothes ,, its just like i wearing a jacket ,, aka rasa kegedan bingiidd ,,, ,,, xiixixix ,,, . It seems need to change M to S ,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,, and its applies for all my trousers ,,, aahhahhaha ,, .

eh ,, ??? its sound another bill fi ,, ??? xixiixixix ,,, . wkwkkwkwkw ,,, and it sound that am not effort yet ,, hehehhehe ,,, 😀 ,,, . So ,, for get it ,, xiiixiixi ,,, aman lah yezh ,,, 🙂

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hey ,, am off from coffee ,,, for the last three dayzh ,, horeee ,,  i can make it ,, ihiiiyy ,, . Friday, Saturday and now ,, sunday ,,, not consume coffee ,,, . Cool isnt it ,, ?? xiixixi prikitiiww ,,, 🙂 .

I just treat my body ajah seeh ,,, . Coffee somehow make me stronger ,, but it will makes me so weak at the end of the day ,,, . I think ,, i have to reduce one ,, . xixiixixixi  ,,, . Dolow i have eager to reduce one because of my gaster disorder ,,, and now ?? because of my strength ,,, xixiixixixi ,,, ..

later ,, if already strong enough ,, consume coffee lageeee ,,, ehehheheheh 🙂

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i want to more silent next ,,, heheheh ,, just reminding my self ,,, makllum ,, suka khilaf ,,, xixiixixixixi ,,,

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