Me ,,, autis ??

#edisi insome ,,

Kenapa gw gag terpengaruh ma sindiran or ejekan orang lain or usaha orang lain untuk rendahin guwe ??  ,,, karena ,,, ummhh ,,, hinaan org lain ke guwe ga mmbuwat gw seperti apa yg mereka katakan ,,, . Gw tetaplah guwe ,,, . Dan mereka tetaplah mereka ,,, 

Jika mereka menghina guwe untuk masa kelam last decade gw ,,? yah itu lah guwe ,,, itu facta ,,, . Sekarang gw mencoba sangat untuk menjadi seseorang yg lebih baik lagi ,,, berangsur ,,, .

Jika mereka bilang gw skrg sok suci ,,, ?? Ahhh ,,, biarlah ,,, itu urusan guwe ma Tuhan,,,  apa yg menjadi niat d hati ,, hanya Tuhan yg tahu ,, . Bukan kaliyan juga yg akan mengampuni dosa2 guwe ,,, dan menyelamatkan guwe kelak di akhirat ,,, . 

Jika mereka bilang guwe menghinakan  orang lain ??? ,,, ahhh mereka lebih tw keburukan apa yg mereka lakukan terhadap orang lain ,,, . Gw hanya sebagay saksi saat ini ,,, dan kelak ,,, 


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ZeLaza ,,, 03012017

 

bete ,,, gegara ,, entah lah ,,, ga semangat kerjak ,,, #tapi gajiannya semangat yezh fi ,,, ??? xiixixxiix ,,, . bawaannya pengen marah2 ajah ,, jadi gampang tersinggung guwe ,,, . Kek gini tuh ,,, jarang jarang banged di idup gw ,,, . Gw tuh jarang banged emosi ma orang kalo ga tuh orang keterlaluwan banged ,,, . Kesel sih passti ,,, tapi gw bisa langsung cepet ngatasinnya ,,, karena faktor priority sih ,,, . Ngapain marah2 ma orang yang ga jelas ,,, ngabisin energi gw yang dah sedikit ajeeee ,,, . Tapi hari ini ,,, bete banged ,, liat salah dikit bawaannya emosi ,, liat ga beresh dikit bawaannya kesel ,, xiixixixixi ,,, . tumben tumben tumben ,,,

terush ,, hari ini ,,, ceritaknya otak guwe kerjak ,, wkwkwkwk ,,ย  . Kesian deh otak gw ,, jarang2 di pake kerjak,, eee hari ini di pake kerjak ,, xixiixixixi ,,, . Ampe angkat pantat ajah dari korsi bisa di itung ma jari kalik ,,, xixixiixix ,,, . Untung bozh putih pulang cepet ,, #anggaplah jam 3 tuh pulang cepet lah yezh ,, xiixiixix ,, . Tapi berhubung hari ini mood gw lagi berantakan ,, ga peduli amad dah tuh bozh mo kek ape ,,, gw jabanin ,,, ixiixixixix ,,, #alamat beli tiket ndiri dah ke mamuju ,, kekekkekekekkeke ,,,

iygh ,, hormon guwe lagi berantakan ,,, . anyeh anyeh anyeh ,, karena bysanya muke ma idup gw doank yang berantakan ,, ixiixixixix ,,,,

 

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hasiL MedCek 2017

 

yeaaah ,,, pastinya menurun dari hasil tahun lalu ,,, jawwwuhh ,, wkkwkwkwk ,,, . sekarang kondisi kesehatan di tulisnya :: kurang !! ,, oNyeeedd ,,, . hasilnya :: repraksih , suspect flek paru, anemia, radang. Percaya gw ?? enggag lah ,, wkkwkwkkwkw ,,, .

anemia mah pasti lah ,,, . flek paru ?? ya iyak kalik ya ,, dengan semuwa sesek guwe ,, xixiixixix ,, ini mah dah dari duluw ,, kenapa baru nongol hari ini ,,,, ??? . Repraksih ?? so so lah yezh ,,, . radang ??? haaahh ,, males malesh malesh ,,

ahhh ,, peduli kalik guwe ,,, ??? xiixixixixi ,,, . #untuk ukuran gw yang ini adalah facta ?? ,,,, ????

o iya ,,, untuk ronsen, bahasanya :: tampak kesuraman pada paru kiri. #ya elah ,, ga idup gw ajah yang suram yezh ,,, ternyata paru2 juga ikut suram ,,, wkkwkwkwkkwkwk

 

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Litbit ,,

  

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exercises in life ,,,

 

once ,, i hv chitchat with my colleagues ,, he asked ” have you ever in bad situation ,, and you pray to aLLah swt ,, somehow ,, aLLah swt answer/grant your ask immediately ??? ,,, ” , after thinking ,, i said ,, ” no ,, because ,, i think i dont have that bad situation ,, since ,,, many years ago ,, ” ,,, . and he continuing with samples in life ,,, that is ,,, keikhlasan ituh ,, butuh latihan ,,, .

and i realize ,, ya, keikhlasan ituh memang butuh latihan ,,, . its happened also to me ko ,,, in dailies i think ,, . Maybe ,, its because am not that sensitive person ,, so its not bother me that big ,,, but i do exercise in life ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Yup ,, its already long time ago ,, when i asked so much ,, that much to allah ,, want to grant my ask ,, even i hv to pay with myย  own pahalas ( emang punya fi ??? wkkwkwkkwkw ) ,, But allah not grant those ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, . I think its big exercises for me ,, eaaaaaaaa ,, ahhahah ,, kalah pulak guwa ,, xiixixixixi ,,, ๐Ÿ˜› ,,,

i rare asking to aLLah swt ,, beside ,, safety in this dunya and mostly for akhirat ,,, . I less ask to aLLah for duniyawik ,,, . i dont know why ,, its seems i dont need that much for this dunya ,, . Sedih yah ,, ๐Ÿ™ ,,, .

and now ,, am not push anything in life ( duniyak ) ,, because ,, if we dont get what we want for now ,, i just hv believing ,, aLLah swt already arrange everything in the perfect condition ,,, So, maybe next ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, >> and ya, i didย  finished my exercise in this session ,,, ahahhahhahaha ,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,, long time ago when i become a perfectionist person ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

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eve New Year ,,,

 

even though ,,, they said ,, we are not celebrating eve new year ,,, i just think ,,, how we could be a better person day by day ,,, . So ,,, i just want to post ,, look back ,,, smiling ,, brood ,,, and figuring out about next ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚

 

2016, its a ,,, blessed year ,,,ย 

after many years ,,, i can “turn back” to my Lord ,,, . its a ,,, struggling things ,,, because its changing stuffย  ,,, mind set and habits ,,, . And ummhh ,, its good things how ever ,,, alhamdulillah ,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, .

i hv medical thing ,, but ,,, am good so far ,,ย  and am alive ,, ahhahahah ,,, . Human ,,, adapt naturally ,,, maybe ,, its all my body do for this thing ,,, xixiixixixi ,,, . Up and down ,,ย  i think its common ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚

in this year ,, i just realized ,, that is ,,, there is ,, a bad person in aroundย  ,, psychopath maybe ,,, . They acts just like a normal people ,, they can mingle so smooth ,,, but they have that thing ,,, psychopath thing inside ,,, . At first ,, i pity with them ,, i think they are trap in their situation and hard try to become a normal person ,,, but they are notย  ,,, . They are being them ,, its them ,,, psychopath ,, .

so ,, when i realized this ,, i think ,, so many fates in this world ,, from beginning to the end ,,, . Lucky us ,, God not chosen us to become that person ,,, bad person ,, even though we got the bad impact of them ,,, . And i realize also ,,, nothings wrong with become our self ,, even its a bad person ,,, . So let it be ,, its become balancing for our world right now ,,, .

And ,,, for me ,, i choose not to involving again with this kind of people ,,, . Some times i want to ,,, because for me ,,, tobe honest ,, its challenging ,,, compete with this kind people ,,, its like i have my real rival ,,,ย  ,,, but ummh ,, its not my time anymore ,, . I dont hv much time to play with you guyzh ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ .

officially ,,,ย  . Ummhh ,, what can i say ,,, ???ย  ,,, got 10 millions a month ,,, having bonus at the end of fiscal year ,,, . with my life style ,, its deficit for sure ,, wkkwkwkwkkw ,,, . Ahh ,, i dont know lah ,,, plenty or lack ,, its same ,,, so far ,,, . I just want to enjoy this time ,, this life ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚

Yup ,, i admit ,, i dont have passion in carrier ,, even in life maybe ??? wkkwkwkwk ,,, it just ,, so so lah ,, wkkwkwkw ,, . its all because i dont feel lack ,,, so what i hv to raise up ,, ??? . May be its wrong ,, but ,, let me think next ,, Ok ,, ???? ,, hehehhehe ๐Ÿ˜€

and alhamdulillah ,, we have better relationship in our family ,,, for me especially ,,, . Is it time answering everything ??? maybe ,,, but i think its about ,, once again ,, mind set ,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,, mature one ??? ,, eaaaaaa ,,, xixixixiix ,,, .

in this age ,, i realized ,,, so many things that i have ,, that i grateful for ,,, soooo muucccchh ,, inddeeeddd ,,, . And its changing many things in my life ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, . It just my thought ,,, if others want to understand this point ,, they have to in the opposite point first ,,, . But ,,, with aLLah swt’s mercy ,, its no need to wasting time in bad times just to knew the good inside ofย  this life ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, . aLLah SWT ,, punya caraNya sendiri untuk mendekatkan hambaNya padaNya ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,,

 

2017, its a ,,, year of life ,,,

next ,, i wanna alive ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,, . The whole thing that i want in 2017 are ,,, get closer to aLLah swt ,,, and get married ,, ๐Ÿ™‚ ,,, aaamiinn ya aLLah swt ,, ๐Ÿ™‚

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Too much ,,, ???

Pun makan moloe dan dah mencapay 50 Kg ,,, d karenakan faktor U ,, tetep sajah kepayahan daiLy nya ,,, 

Tiap hari makan sambel ,,, sakitnya mpe ubun2 bikin merinding ,, kegiatan fisik aka jalan kaki yg sepertinya berlebihan sehingga akhr2 ini bersahabat dengan geliga ,,, . Plus ,, !!! Baru kmren gw ngerasa bibir bisa kesemutan ,,, wkwkwkkwkwkekek ,,, ajaib dah ,,, .  Pernah dulu ,,, saking capeknya ,,, lidah pun terasa kesemutan ,,, xixixiixix ,,, aneh yeee,,,

Dan malam ini tepaaarrr ,,, wkkwkwkwkwkkw ,,, . Kadang gw mikir ,,, sebenernya gw ga tw batasan badan gw sendiri ,, mentognya ya dah begitu lemah untuk bergerak ,, ujung2nya pengsan ,,,, eaaaaaaaa ,,,,

Moto keren guwe kan :: selama bisa bergerak dengan aman ,,, ya bergeraklah ,,, xixiixixixi

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duniya dan akhirat ,,,

 

there is a time ,, when i walked to my balcony ,,, i saw ,,, the sky ,,, and i feel alive ,,, am sure i hv many times to live ,,, and my brain think so fast ,,, make plans for everything ,,, even scenario to become ,,, an evil ,,,ย  . Somehow ,, for the next second ,,, i realize ,,, that akhirat near to us ,,, its in my mind ,,, its half of my soul ,,, its so real ,,, and am so far to be ,,, good ,,, . Dont you think like i think ,,, ????

 

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do you think ,,,

 

do you think ,, aLLah swt will forgive me ??? for all i hv did ??? ,, what do you think ,, ??? ,,, . Many people ,, good people ,,, pray for me ,, for my goodnessย  ,, . I did also ,,, pry for my own goodness ,,, for this dunya and for the next life ,,, . Is it aLLah will grant those asks ,,, ??? will aLLah swtย  ,,, ??? ,,, .

around me ,,, people try to find the good things behind the faith ,,, . Try to have good thought to aLLah swt ,,, that aLLah swt will replace with another good ones now or in the next life ,,, . i’ve been thinking ,,, IF NOT ??? what will you do ,, ???

Some times ,, i think ,, everything that we ( me and people around me ) raised to aLLah ,, is banned ,,, ??? ,,, . Lucky me ,, at the end of my thought ,,, i dont care with those thoughts ,,, i dont care with the result ,,, . I just want to ,,, glorify aLLah swt ,,, . Yah ,,, hopefully ,,, aLLah swt want to see me next ,,, insha aLLah ,,, aaamiinn ,,, ๐Ÿ˜ ,,, .

but i do believe ,,, there is nothing coincidence in this world ,, there are nothing will not paid ,,, not at even in little things ,,, . And ,, i do believe in KarMa ,,, its action reaction in fisikah ,,, ๐Ÿ™‚

karMa ,,, its a bitch ,,,

 

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