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masih ingeeed ,, kakik sakit banged saat ituh yg karena luka ligamen ituuuhhh ,,, . Dh terapi kurleb 2 mo sblm ke japan, tapi teuteeuuupppp ,,, sakitnya ampun2aannnnnn ,, !! . Tiap malem ,, kebangun karena sakitnya dan harus oles balsem pereda nyeriii ,,, . Namanya di jepun, banyakan jalan yezh ,,, pas dh sore ,, jalan dh rada pincang sakit sakitnya ,,, xiixixii ,,,
skrg sik aman ,, !!
alhamdulillah ,, !! kekekekekkekee
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smuwa up and down yezh ,,, . Lagi di fase lower keknya ,, entah kenapa ,, siklus ajah mgkin ,,,
dari yg kelolosan 1 x rutinitas ibadah,
terush kemaren attract dengan orang yg merasanya gw kuwat banged iri hati nya ( dalam hal kerjak, iri ke orang lain – bagian laen ),
dan gw lagi doyan musik ,,,
sungguh ,, ituh smuwa indikator “ada yg salah” ,,
auto mikir :: dosa apa yg sudah gw lakukan weehhh ???
#ya banyaakkk ,,,
huikzzzhhh ,,,,
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gimana iniiii ??????
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gilzh yezh miL ,,, duniyak saad inih beneran sedang tidak baik2 sajah ,,, .
Values changes, ppl changes, chaos seems increasing, genocide kek masih ada di jaman inih ??? ,,, ya ampyuunnn ,,, . Orang makin absurd, baik dan buruk bercampur sampe bingung garis tegasnya ,,, .
Udah yg kek ,, “apa siihh ,,” ,,, “gilak ya ,, !!” ,,, . Duniyak inih gilak ,, dan lo ada di dalam nya ,, dalam perputarannya ,,, dalam speednya ,, dalam aromanya ,, dalam battle nya ,,, .
Hingga kadang loe ga bisa rasakan lagi ,, rasa di diri loe sndiri ,, juga rasa di orang lain ,, . Hingga lo ga bisa sejenak bernafas untuk kelegaan ,,, . Hingga loe ga bisa ada waktu untuk berbenah ,, . Loe tergulung dengan routinasnya ,,,
#auto istighfar ,,,
#many times ,,,
duluw ,,, wat ngatasin insome gw ,,, gw sering kali berlatih berzikir ,, . Mxd hati sik biar bisa tidur cepet ,,, . Me replace mikir ngalor ngidul gw malam2 dengan berzikir ,, . Berhasil ?? ya gag lah ,, !!! nurut ngana ajah ,,, kwkwkwkkwkwk ,, . But ,, karena sering zikir kala ituh ,, jadi agag kebysaan di day light nya ,, ampe sekarang ,, alhamdulillah ,, .
jadi ,, keknya ,, otak gw tuh kek ga bisa “lowong dikit” ,,, . Lowong dikit harus di isi apah gituuhh ,,, salah 2 nya ya dengan berzikir ,, . Akhrnya karena kebysaan ituh tadiiii ,,, mpe skrg masih kek gitu ,, alhamdulillah ,, . Lowong dikit ni utek ,, gw istighfar ,,, gw salawat ,,, .
#pun ga lowong, mikirnya juga ga berkuwalitas juga ko ,, kwkwkkwkw
#tapiiii yaaa freq nya dikit sik ,,,,
#kekkekekekkekekekkek ,,,,
Naahh ,, !!
istighfar salawat sahadat inih ,,, kek mengerem, mereminder, merefresh ajah di daily guwe ,,, . Kek yg hold on ,, take a breath ,, . Pun selanjutnya ttp struggling ,, tapi ,, kek bisa “nafas” ajah dulzh sejenak ,, .
alhamdulillah yezh ,,
kebysaan lalu ,, bergunak mpe hari gini ,,,
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millie ,,, ??? ,,, its a ,,, litbit strange kah ??? ,,, . Its should be strange kah ??? . My life ,, is just sooo ,,, good ,,, masya allah ,, alhamdulillah ,,, . Tapiiii ,, jadi ngeri sndiri mill ,,, di mana ujiyankuwh ,, ?? ,,, kenapa gw bisa mendapatkan hidup yg begitu baik inih mill ??? ,,, gw bukan orang baik either ,, .
might you say reward for amal sholeh ??? ,,, but aLLah knows i doit for goodness in the akhirah ,, . Jika aq mendapatkan skrg, apakah masih ada tersisa untuk kuw di akhirat mill ???. But even so, ,,, i surrender juga sik ,,, .
gw ,, terush ,,, berusaha ,, mmprbaiki ,, meningkatkan ,,, smuwa hal ,,, yg bisa terush mendekatkan diri gw ke aLLah swt ,,, .
i walk ,, till the end ,,, in Islam’s rule ,, what ever it takes ,,,
May i always consistent yezh mill ,, . Even though this goodness hv its own challenge ,,,
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#kadang kepikir mo dateng ke real ulama and said ::
#ya tuwan guru ,, hidup kuwh baik2 sajah as duniyakwik pov ,, is it OK ???
#apa sebaikanya gw menikah yak ,, meningkatkan challenge’s life ,,,
#yegasik ???
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around 10 taon laluuuu ,,, idup begitu struggling ,, . Dari kerjaan lah ,,, atasan lah ,,, kesihatan lah ,, . Nowdays ,,, idup begitu happy ,,, sungguh happy ,,, masya allah ,, alhamdulillah ,,,
Bahagiyak ituh gampang ,,,
yg susah ituh cari jodoh ,,,
eyaaaakkkk ,,, !!! kwkwwkkwkkkw ,,,
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duluw ,,,
kerjaan susah ,,, masih struggling ,,, atasan perfektionis akut ,,, . Belom lagi badan kecil, letoy, sakit kepalak daily, sakit maagh daily ,,, liwet idup sehari juga alhamdulillah ,, hehhehehehhe ,, . dan ya ,,, alhamdulillah ,, idup gw ampe skrang ,, .
pun pada akhirnya ituh aksi reaksi ,,, tapi gw mikir ::
duluw tuh gw makan dikit ,, yg mgkin ada juga karena mikir aka ada mindset “makan ituh secukupnya, makan seminimal mgkin, secukup wat kegiatan harian ajah” ,,, .
Jadilah gw kecil letoy bawaannya mengundang orang mo sedeqah ajah ma gw ,, hehehheheheh ,, . Tiap pagi pas bangun, yg gw cek di utek :: apakah badan gw lemezh ??? apakah palak gw sakit ??? . Di Pagi hari ituh, muter otak agar kegiatan daily nya terutama fisik ga terlalu capek, biar tenaganya cukup wat seharian ,,, .
NOwDays,
makan ayce bisa once a week or more, kerjak juga rejeki ga susah ,, . Letoy ilang, sakit kepalak ilang, badan gendut tapi fit sangat. Gada tuh mikir lagi wat aktifitas seharian ,,, Gas terush !!! kekekekekek ,, . Masya allah alhamdulillah ,, .
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IDUP itu SUSAH ,,,
gw termasuk yg beruntung ajah sik ,, if you know what i meant ,, .
alhamdulillah ya allah ,, !!
tapiiiiiiiiiiii ,,,
mo susah seneng ,,, pada akhirnya smuwa ituh adalah ujian dari aLLah swt ,, . Kalo susah ituh, mang gampang gituh yak ,, bsa di utek :: inih ujian !!! harrus bisa liwed ,,, . Kek perang fisik ajah ,,, musuh rasa nyata depan mata.
Nah pas kesenangan, masya allah ,,, tipizh yezh ,,, . Di uji dengan kesenangan duniyakwik, gmna ttp bisa smuwa ibadah on track ,, istiQomah on track ,, . Ujian ituh sprti ga nampak depan mata ,, .
ga bisa di bilang :: gampangan a, or gampangan b ,,,
smuwa punya challenge masing2 yezh ,,,
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Sooo ,,,
smoga qt smuwa bisa ttp istiqomah yezh ,,,, selamad duniyak akhirat. amiinnnnnn ,,,
btw ,, after all ,, after struggling and this happiness ,, do you still afraid of death ??? ,,, for sure darling ,, !! ,, ahuhuhuuhhuhu ,,,,
it just me and millie ,, in my room ,, cold enough ,,, . I hv mangos, i hv cold black coffee, i hv my instant noodles with vegetables and an egg, i hv my sweet choco cheese pizza ,,, and my Netflix is On ,, .
Then what else i needed out side ???
masya allah ,, tabarakallahu ,,, !!!!
alhamdulillah ,, ya allah ,, !!!
di Nikmatin aeeee ,,,
selagi bisa kan yezh ,,,,,
Allah swt is the best ever ,,,
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already 3rd week i spent my wiken “alone” ,,, not hang out with my friends ,,, . Why not fi ???. Ummhh ,, just want to “feels” my time, my life, my me ,, with milliee ,, ahahhahhahaha ,, .
nge gym, olga, tritmil-an, play with bocilzh, watch movie all days, eating what i want to eat ,, totally just enjoy my me and my time ,,, its make me happy ,,, . Hang out with my friends also make me happy ,,,, but ,, right now ,, i just want to spent time with my me ,,, hehehhehehehhehe ,,
bc, as you know ,, my life controlled by my heart kan yezh ,,, kekekkekekekekekk ,,, . And now, my heart just want me at home ,,, . As long as my heart “approve” thus i will do it ,, . Ur brain fi ??? yaahh follow ajah ,, wkkwkwkkwkw ,,, . Palingan kl ati dh aneh2 ,, xuman bisa control / hold on semananya lah ,,, kekekkekekek ,, . Well ,, life must be happy yezh ,, happy comes from heart ,,, kekekekekekekke ,,, . Yah ,, its me ,,, just me and my happiness ,, .
iyuuppp ,,, its seems my life values slightly shifted ,, hehehehhehe ,, . Was ,, i thought ,, my thought ,,, my values ,,, :: life is a battle ,, life should be struggle ,, There is NO pleasure in life ,,, . But now ??? ,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,, after exposed with this blesses ,, conveniences ,, kindness ,,, all good things in life ,,, , i started to enjoy this life ,, this good life ,,, .
what kind of good life, fi ??? ,,, . I ate ayce might 2-3 times a week ,,, aka i hv good meals ,, i ate what i want to eat nor to drink ,,, . I drive a car to anywhere ,,, my job quite handle ,, . Its very a good life ,, no specific struggling needed ,,, . What a life ,,, . So ya ,,, i like this life ,, ehhehehehhe ,, kan am hooman yezh ,,, ra popo kan yezh ,,, ehheheheheh ,, . Then your test is about how you can still istiqomah in this good life ,, . Can you fi ??? . Insya allah ,,, ya allah ,,, amiiinnnnnnn ,,,,,
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Trushhhh ,,, tomorrow already monday instead ???
ya ellahh ,, so fast isnt it ??? hiiizhhh ,,, .
btw ,, already a week ,, i started day recited Qur’an with Surah yasin. Usually i recited Yaasiiin at night, but now ,, i make it in the morning ,, . And maybe its just my feeling yezh ,,, i just feel my day just “lucky” for whole day ,, . It Just Like universe helps me in various way ,,, alhamdulillah ,,, . But seriously, is Yaasin very powerful ??? 😀
ya allah ,,, alhamdulillah for everything in life ,,,
masya allah tabarakallahu ,,,
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btw ,, last 2 weeks i so busy ,, not that busy ,, just higher than may average activity due to budget fy-26. Impact ??? my skins get dry and scaly ,,, and worse ,,, its until my face skin ,,, ahuhuuhuhuhuuhuhu ,, .
as we know as well ,,, i can not that soooo sad, so excited, so happy, so tired ,, pokokmen yg terlalu so is not allowed ,, . It will impact directly to my body ,,, hehheheheh ,, . Lucky me am fat enough now ,, so am not extreemly exhausted ,,, hehehehehe ,,, .
