MiLestoNe

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terkadang ,,, kalo facing around ,,, aseli banyak yang berbeda pikir dan akhirnya prilaku dengan qt yak ,, bahkan untuk case yg menurut gw is kritikal ,, tapi bagi orang bysak ajah ,,, . Dan ini trjadi di sirkel terdekat ,, jadiiii agag bingung yah ,,, . Mgkin yg masih bisa se pemikiran ,, ya di keluwarga inti ajah ,, yg pastinya karena ajaran ortu nya sama ,,, .

tapiii di gw ,, yg di luwaran juga ga ada temen se pemikiran,, jadi pusing sndiri loh ,,, . Yg versi ini ini tidak bole di lakukan ,, orang lakukan dengan tertawa ,,, . and some more ,,, . Eh !! ini bukan brarti gw sok alim yeezzhh ,,, xuman ,, gw pengen around gw ,, se jalan ama gw ,, tapi tidak ,,, . Dan jadiiii ,, kadang ,, kepikir ,, mw buka inet2 ituh ,, jadi malazh ,, karena banyak sekali pemikiran yg belum tentu benar ,, dan takutnya gw trpengaruh ,,, at least dh bikin gw ucink nged lah ,, . Pernah kan gw mikir,, duniyak dh ga layak di tempati ,, bahkan untuk jiwa ,, kekekeke ,, .

banyak dikitnya ,, ini mmpengaruhi gw sik ?? hawkam ??? ummhh ,, yaaa , begitulah ,, . Karna kan gw mahluk social nged gituuuhh ,, wkkwkwkkw ,,,

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its drive me more crazy ,,,
duluw ,, gw pengen tidur ,, kadang bingung mo tidur ajah susah banged ,,, . tapi lately times ,, gw ga mw tidur lama2 ,, karena merasa waktu tinggal sbntar lagi ,, apa pun yg gw lakukan selama melek ,, better than sleep ,, wkkwkwwkkwkw ,, >> tapi akhirannya malah tidur lebih lama dari bysaknya sik ,, wkkwkwkkwkw

am i feel mentally sick ?? no ,, !! not at all !! . ??

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e bujug ,, gw ru tw ,, around gw ,, trnyity ,, in our age ,, yg remin nya tinggal around 20 taon lageee ,, still dont know :: the purpose of their life ???? ,,, . Its very crazy thing isnt it ???? ,,, .

gilzh !! gw amaze ,, !! haw kam they can not know their purpose of life ??? . Gw mpe xcek sndiri ,, :: ini gw yg gilak, ato mereka yg becandak ??? ,,, . But its real ,, they dont know izeklih for what they live for ,,, . What a crazy thing ,,,

i told them ,, live is just simple as Taqwa ,,, patuh pada perintahNya dan jauh pada laranganNya ,, . But they said it cliche ,,, . But it is the answer ,,, even i dont know any answer than that ,,, .

tapi seriyuzh ,, mang tujuwan idup orang2 bukan allah swt y ??? . kalo bukan, than what ??? . Some says ,, what idupin bahagiyain keluwarga ,,, but, its small things isnt it ??? ,, what is the big purpose ??? .

hmmhh ,,, entahlah ,,, sometimes i lost with my own mind vs my around’s ,,, . Because ,,, its me ,, alone vs the world ,, even difference from my around ,,, . Weird situation isnt it ??? ,,, .

BUT ,, !!! I dont cant either sik ,, . MY goal ,, my Purpose is Allah’s swt still ,,, am struggling in this way ,, . am in love with aLLah swt ,, in my scope for sure ,,, . I dont hv anybody in this world ,,, in entire world ,, i cant rely on anything ,,, . i just hv allah swt ,, . Dia yg melindungi gw ,, Dy yg mengatur hidup gw ,,, Dy yg menentukan hidup gw ,,, bad or good it doesnt matter ,, . Even Dy caused your sad and pain in this duniyak ??? ,,, . Even after your all efforts ,, and you end up in hell ,,, ??? ,, . ahhh ,, dear ,, am so afraid of hell ,, but ya ,, i do my best in this duniyak ,, with all of me ,, with my remaining time ,, . Beside ,, what else i can do beside this ??? ,, hehehehheheheheh

ya ,, one of thought said :: how about at the end ,,, akhirat also is a lie ,,, ??? no body knows ,,, All of us ,, just dont know ,, . Yea ,,, let say its kind of gambling ,, we are do gambling ,, we put our card on the table ,, and we will look up the truth then ,,, . There is no better way ,, none ,, except choose your faith ,, closest one to your believing ,,, .

Raise your Glass ,,,
May all of US save and happy in the life after ,,,
Campaign ,, !!!! ??

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Millliiieeee ,,, hulaaaa ,,, . Hey ,,, i can pass this week ,, wkkwkwkkwk ,,, . Ga berasa yezh ,,, 1 minggu terliwati ,,, xixixixixi ,, alhamdulillah ,,, . Yaaaa ,,, many weeks ahead ,, but ,, yaaaa ,, its life ya millie ,,, up and down ,, black and white ,,, smiles and tears ,,, what else life can give more than this ???? . Where can give more than this ??? . Who can give more than this ??? ,,, ?

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gilzh yezh mil ,, gw udah tuwak ,, !! pastinya ,, !! wkkwkwwkkw ,, . With all my health record backward ,,, all symptoms are ,,, understandable ,, wkwkkwkwkwk ,,, .

gw kan kerjak depan komputer yak ,,, jarang banged angkat pantat kecuwali ada kebutuhannya. Ada kebutuhannya pun gw barengin waktunya biar efisien. Misal, mo pip ,, sekalian solat ,, ato sekaliyan ma aktifity pending lainnya yg searah. Bysaknya pas duduk kerjak, bakal angkat pantat lagi around 3 jam kedepan ,, ituh pas bangun, tulang pinggul gw rasa kaku banged ,,, jiyakkakakakkakakk ,,, . Uced deh yezh ,,, padahal gw ga melahirkan ,, dan ru di usiya 40 awal dh kek gini ,, wkkwkwkwkwk ,, . Beneran efek all my youth ,, xiixixixixiix ,,, .

BUT !!!!! ,,, bysak ajah sik ,,, . You know what ,,, my health for the last 4 years ,, is very GOOD ,,, . Its to good to be true ,,, . 4 taon terakhir ini ,, sehat gw ini ,, sperti hadiah dari Tuhan ,,, alhamdulillah ,,, . I can do anything ,, with out any major issue ,,, what a bless !!!! ,,, . Bukan brarti smuwa issue di badan gw ilang ,,, kek luka ligamen di lutut gw masih ada ,, keknya even worst from latest scan ,, but i dont feel the pain ,,, .

I can do anything wih my leg ,, . Bisa tritmil semw gw ,, bisa sepedaan semw gw ,, bisa ina ini inu ,, waw !! alhamdulillah ,, . Magh gw ,, yg duluw keknya tiap hari atit ,,, skrg ,, nyaris ga brasa ,, kl ga xtrim2 amad gw makan/minum nya ,,, . smuwanya lah ,,, i can do daily activities gw with ,, good ,, . Imagine ,, !!! ,, . Alhamdulillah ,,, .

pun gw ,, brfikir ,, whats next ,, hehheheheheh ,, .
This is GREAT ,, and whats next ???? . I dont mind either sik ,,, not in a second ,,, . Gw ,, xuman ,,, mnjalaninya ,,, till end of time ,,, !!! ,,, ??

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ya allah swt ,, alhamdulillah untuk smuwanya ,,, . gw mang blom nikah ,, ga punya my own family ,,, krn 1- 2 alasan yg ada di kepalak gw ,,, and all its fine ,,, with all default positive thought of me ,,, . Kadang pikiran gw push me to ,,, bete / sedih untuk hal ini ,, tapi yaaaaa ,, ga perlu di push pun ,, ya bakal bete sedih sndiri caused by hormone ,, . Jadiiii ya di nikmatin ajah ,,, xixiixixixiix ,,, .

kadang ,, sampe detik ini pun ,, gw juga mikir sik ,, kenapa pola pikir gw kek gini ,, ??? jiyakkakakkakakkk ,,, . Mang dasar orang aneh ,, !! wkkwkwkkw ,,,

alhamdulillah ya allah ,,
alhamdulillah ,,,
sangat berterima kasih untuk smuwanya ,,, !!!

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duniyak tidak sedang baik2 sajah ,,, ,,, ,,,, . kondisi global, pandemic menghancurkan perekonomian negara, perang erop bikin inflasi bumi, harga2 di mari dh mulay naik ,,, terasa sekali loh mihilnya ,, . naiknya sik dikit2 ,, 1000 – 5000, tapi di smuwa goods ,, bayangpun ,,, . Toped ajah skrg ada biayak layanan, even xuman 1k sik ,, tapi tetep ajah ,, .

alhasil gw sekarang makin berhemad, d luwar cicilan durjanah inih yezh ,, jiyakkakakakkak ,, . jajan toped aseli wat yg penting2 ajah aka mang butuh ,,, . Kl ga butuh nya, di jatah sebulan sekali jajannya ,, wat heppi heppi ,,, . Tapi makan gw masih banyak sik ,, xiixixixi alhamdulillah ,, .

nah ituu ,, di tengah kondisi yg semakin mmburuk ,, alhamdulillah kehidupan kami masih baik ,, sangat baik ,, . Entah sampay kapan ,, aseli ga tw taun depan bakal kek apa ,, . Kadang kepikir ,, apa yg ada di pikiran board Aji group terhadap hal ini ,,, apa plan mereka terhadap kami emp nya ,,, . Well ,, anyway ,,, Jadiiii ,, ya di nikmatin ajah lah yezh setiap proses hidup inih ,,, . Mo d elak semana ,, bad luck or good luck will come anyway right ?? hehehhehe ,, .

and in the other side ,,, zaman ini nampagnya beneran seperti sudah tidak tertolong yezh ,, . Beneran smuwa “angkara murka” #hallah ,, terlihat jelas depan mata daily and bikam very common and usual to see to do ,, #istighfar ,, . Smuwa berjalan mang sudah pada tracknya sik ,, . Aseli yg dibutuhkan dari qt ituh ,, hanyalah tunduk dan patuh ma smuwa perintahNya ,,, .

bener2 terasa terbukti ,, qt sudah di akhir jaman ,,
#gmna gw ga makin parno yk , !!! wkkwkwkwkkw

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hula Milie ,, ,,, ihiyy ,, long time no seeee ,,,
how’s our life ???
ixixixixixixix ,,, ?

u know what milie ,,, life ,, my life ,, is not in my control ,, however ,, its still go through by aLLah swt’s will ,, #yeah ,, for sure !! ,, ahahahahah ,, . But it is ,, some time ,, we are not aware well of this matter ,,, . Or ,, this is just ,, only short of impact of my believing of faith ,, hehehehehhe ,, . Which one is true ,, ??? ,, ?

i can be pious ,,, i can be sinner (dugh amid2 !! ,, jangan sampe ! ) ,, i can be smart ,, i can be dumb ,, i can do A, i can do B, i can do C ,, alhamdulillah ,, i can do it all ,, . Thus ,, my brain will well trained ,, even those activity is not finished yet ,, but its brain natural do, isn’t it ???? ,,, .

Then ,, what’s all its about ,, ??
i know izeklih the answer is ,,, :: beribadah pada aLLah swt till the end of time ,, (*1) ,, . and the end ,, is about CONSISTENCY ,,, . How satan ,, very well do in this matter ,, . Consistency is about natural human weakness ,, because we are human anyway ,,, . When in one to several time ,, we can conquer our desire in the good way ,, still its hard to make it stable ,, due to ,, we are HUMAN ,,, . Even with conducive circumstances ,, still we will have consistency’s fight ,,, . May Allah ,,, the merciful will forgive us for this thing ,, protecting us always for all might bad happen in this duniyak and akhirat ,,, aminnn ,,, .

this is my fight ,,, with all my knowledge ,, my awakening ,,, my awareness ,,, to keep get consistency ,, in this life ,, till the end ,, .

betewe ,,,
gw ini kan penakut sangat yh ,, dengan allah swt ,, dengan hari akhir ,, dengan hari hisab ,,, akhirat stuff lah ,,, . Kadang ,, dengan naturalnya ,,, otak gw meng-calculation what i’ve done yg berkesimpulan ,, i will not survive in the day after ,,, . And it drive me crazy ,,, . Trush gw mikir ,,, kembali mikir yg sama ,, kalo umar ajah ,,, yg dh bunuh orang ,, yg mana bunuh orang ituh dosanya ke neraka jahanam ,, insya allah bisa masuk surga ,,, . ga apple to apple ,, tapiiiiiiiiiiiiii ,, mgkin gw juga bisa selamat kelak ??? amiiinn ,,, hehhehehehe ,, .

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(1*) my friend ,, in their life processing ,, ever asked ,, :: what is life about ??? . I said :: untuk beribadah pada allah swt ,, . And he said :: ya of course ,, . He didnt understand well to this sentences i think. But may be i know ,, the core why, he can not understand well ,, . Because ,, its about life perspective ,,, . Me ,, less and more ,, looking at me ,, as HAMBA ,, in the zero level according to the God ,,, . Him ,, maybe ,, looking at himself , at the 3 – 5 level according to the God ,, . Because ,, Qur’an said so ,,, :: hidup adalah untuk beribadah padaNya ,, . Beribadah dengan bertaqwa . Bertaqwa dengan mentaati perintahNya dan menjauhi laranganNya ,,, .

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#41 tahun ,,,
#alhamdulillah ,,
#life is good ,,
#blessed ,,,
#bersiap pulang ,,

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