MiLestoNe

.

whereas full of dramas ,, wkwkkwkwwkwk ,, . But we made it anyway ko ,,, aahahhaha ,,, alhamdulillah ,, . But njiiirr ,, this sirkel bener2 dah ,,, full of love and drama ,, ! No doubt ! ,, wkkwkwkwk ,,,

kami segitu drama nya loh ,,, wkkwkwkwkwk ,,, . Dari sisi gw ??? yazh ,, one of pic #hallah, very rude on words ,, and yazh ,, its not suitable from my side ,,, and its toxic relationship i think ,,, , BUT ,, she is full of love to us ,,, indeed ,, . Thus ,, one concerning is ,,, her generosity very very very teach me ,, a lesson ,, ehheheheheh ,, masya allah ,, alhamdulillah ,, .

so from my side ,, its just another type of relationship. Not all around hv tobe like i want to ,,, . This is duniyak ,, Just take it as it is ,, filtered by yourself ,, as simply as it is ,, xiixixixixi ,,, .

mari menikmati duniyakwik ini dengan penuh rasa syukur pada aLLah swt dan berbahagiyak ,,, amin amin amiinn ,, ??

Continue reading

.

sooo ,,, this is the 2nd week my health just geting bad without i know the reason is ,, . jadi bysaknya ,, senen – raboe ,, berat gw akan turun turus ,, kamizh drop nged ,,, jumat sabtu rikoverih ,, minggu much better ,, . Yazh !!! pola 2 minggu ituh kek gitu ,, kwwkkwkwkwk ,,, . Badan lemezh, napas atu2 ,, ituh jadi sering gw hadapi hari2 ini ,, yg puncaknya bakal terjadi di kamizh ( pengalaman 2 minggu ini ) ,,, .

and i asked my self ,,, why ?????? whhyy ,,, ??????

last week ituh ,, kek sebagian jiwa / ruh gw percobaan ninggalin badan gw ,, !! untung pada balik sik ,, yg rasanya ga 100% pd balik smuwa ,,, ! lupa ma badan yg mana x yak ,, ??!!! ,,, . Dan skrg pun ,, setelah lemezh kek apaan tw ,, ya sama ,, ini darah ,, kek dr dalam ,, rasa “mndidih” ,, kek mo lepasin diri dr kulit yg dalam ,, . Dan proses ini sakit badan gw ,,, .

jadiii ,, bawaannya gw mo tidur ajah seharin ,, mo istirahat ,, kek lemezh ,, kek capek ,, inside ,, . Pun gw analisa ,, bingung sndiri ,, apakah benar dari pikiran duluw ?? ataw mang dh dari badan duluw yg nge drop ??? ,, . Meanwhile gw menemukan jawabannya ,, gw mikir, apa gw mesti out duluw dari daily gw ,, aka break aka putus dr smuwa pola ?? . Bukan eskep ,, tapi biar jelas ajah why nya ,, .

aw ,,,, iki opo yg terjadi siiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkk ?????????

Continue reading

.

ummhhhhh ,,, besok senen ,, mule lagi ber-interaksi dengan orang jahat ,, my bozh ,, wkwkwkwkkw ,, .

so ,, last week ,, thursday afternoon ,, while i just in the bad health condition ,,, we hv small talk ,, me ncang and pa bozh ,,, . And at the end he said :: ” saya ga mw denger ceritak tentang nisida ,,, kecuwali cerita affair qm dengan dy ,, ” . weeehhh ,,, ??? . That thought exist in his head whole the time ?????

karena besok mo kerjak dan involve lagi dengan all about Aji ,, that sentence rewind in my mind. And yezh ,, i just realize that answered everything ,,, the reason why he so mean to me ,,, . Its complete ,, !!! hanya butuh last confession and confirmation from him ,, .

Dy ada masalah dengan nisida ,, . Dan dengan beritak AI-1 mo geser doi karena di anggap tidak pantas mimpin Logistic, dy mnjadi maarah ma gw ,, mgkin karena gw orang yg cukup baik prestasinya di jaman nisida, jadi dy mikir macem2 ke gw ,, . Lahh ,, apah salahnya dengan mnjadi agag pinter dan agag sefrekwensi ama kepinteran nsd pada masa ituh ???.

ya !! ,,, Now i know ,, . Alasan dari smuwa hal yg tidak logic inih ,,, . Manusiyak dah setuwak ituh ,, masih ga bisa bijak juga menyikapi sesuwatu, even menumpahkan kemarahannya ke orang lain (gw) ,, yg ga ada hubungan apa pun dengan masalah dy dan nsd ,,, even worst, kesebut gw ada affair dgn nsd ??? . Bahkan untuk becandaan pun,, ituh ga lucuk ,, sangat ga lucuk ,, . Di utek gw, kl bukan lu dah senior, dh dr duluw lu d geser ma nsd ,,, ga perlu nggu ai-1 ,, aseli lo ga se frekwensi ituh ma doi.

but now ,, here i am ,, through my daily with somebody with anger in his heart and shed it up to me ,,, . Hmmhhh ,,, i thought at first ,, i hv to wreak him ,, with out any sin from my side ,, because ,, its him to starting this war ,,, . Buuuuuttt ,, ummmhhh ,, its not !!! ,, . NO needdd ,,, . This is not my war ,, but he is ,, . Terima kasih aLLah swt yg msih terush mmbuwat gw brbuwat baik pada orang ituh ,, di saaat dy begitu jahat ma gw ,,, .

ah pa bozh ,, sadarlah ,, karma ituh ada ,, lo percaya ataw pun tidak ,,, . Jika lo ga peduli ma diri lo ,,, at least mikirlah ,, lo punya anak ce 3 ,, memasuki duniak kerjak pulak ,, . Kalian para orang tuwak ,, inged lah ,, apa yg xan lakukan ,, bisa ber effect ke orang2 yg ceritaknya xan sayangi ,, banyak case ttg ituh ,,, . Apa otak xan tidak bisa memikirkan ituh smuwa ???

despite all of that ,, be GOOD ,, no doubt ,, !!

.
.

mari cari lipen ,,
biar bahagiyak ,,, !!! ??????

Continue reading

.

soooo ,,, its was last Thursday ,,, . I didnt take my fasting because i thought will hv big mtg with pa gm and will take much more energies ,, . Thus ,, its a another regular day ,, . Yaa ,, i took coffeea all day long ,, i late for my lunch ,,, but its still ,, its regular for me ,,, .

Its ,, afternoon ,, on my way back home ,, its felt like just i want to fainting. I felt sooo weak ,,, my back bone is so hurt ( in my thought, my body took energy from my back bone, ga dari lemak yg berseliweran inih ,,, . wkkwkwkkwkwk ,,, . it just i felt run out of my energy ,,, all of them ,, . Antara mo pingsan, tapi keknya nggag deh ,, kan gw dh gendut ,, wkkwkwkkwkwkw ,, .

and i made it ,, . I arrived at home safely ,, . But its soooo ,,, weak ,, hurt ,,, not headache ,,, napas atu atu ,,, asli i dont hv any energy to live ,,, . Gw nimbang ,, dan BB gw 55 Kg ,, . So ya ,, its no weird if i in this condition ,, .

i through the night ,, with sadly ,, hehehehheh ,, . Napas satu2 ,, feel so weak ,, makan minum dengan posisi tidur ,, mpe akhrnya tengah malem dh mule segeran ,, . Tapi masih lemezh maks. Bahkan wat solat ajah ,, kek badan ma otak ma jiwa ,, ga nyatu sempurna ,,, .

paginya ,, jumat wfh ,, gw beli bubur ,, wat sarapan dan abis ,, !!! . Trush lanjut kerjak ,,, . Niadnya mo ke mall ,,,, but my body is still weak ,, so weak ,, . So i just wfh all day ,,,

its ,, Magrib ,, gw nimbang lgi ,, dan berat gw dah 58 Kg lagi ,, . What !!!????? ,,,, . naek 3 kg dlm waktu 24 jam ??? its weird ,,, . But ya ,, gw dah sangat enakan ,,, . Energy gw dah ampir 80% balik ,,, and continuing well until now ( saturday ).

.
.

SO, WHAT WAS THAT ?????????????

gilzh ,,, apa yg terjadi kemaren ,,, ??? gada penjelasan logis kecuwali mang tipikal gw yg kadang nge drop ,,, . ya ya ya ,,, it must coming out ,, but ,, should be not so bad, isnt it ???? ,,,

Then, i hv 1 Theory ,, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its some part of me ,, leaving me ,, leaving my body ,,, . Ituh sudah jelas ,, !!! . . Ada bagian diri gw yg pergi ,, dan ya, kembali lagi sik ,,, wkkwkwkkwkw ,, . Inih gw bingung ,, pada percobaan pergi apa gimana ???? partial2 gituh ??? haiyaahh ,,, .

ummhh ,, yaaa ,,, its bad experience ,,, but i through some like these experience ,, and this is not the worst ko ,,, . Even though its time for me eventually ,, its ,, a ,, yaa ,, mo gimana lagi ,,, . My brain know ,, everything already set up ,,, nothing in coincidence ,, not at alll ,,, . Its just me ,, following the path ,,, .

its scary fi ??? ya ,, it is ,,, . Its more scary at first ,, many years ago ,, . But yaaaaa ,,, di jalanin sajah ,,, . What else i can do ??? kekekkekekekkekekekeke

let get find udon ,,, we need re charge my energy

Continue reading

.

temen 1 sirkel tp d luwar aji said ,, kurlebnya :: gw ru sadar, prtemanan xan ituh ,, trmasuk kasar loh ,, kadang bsa separah ituh ngomongin 1 sama lain di belakangnya. Dan yazh ,, qt punya banyak wag yg isinya orang2 nya itu2 lagi tapi minezh si A B C ,, wkkwkwkwkkw ,, . Gw pribadi sik ,, untuk yg wag ,, ga pernah bikin sndiri ,, di invite ajah gituh ,, trush nnti orang2nya ada yg baper, trush left sndiri ,, trush after months nor years, balik lagi ,, wkkwkwkkwkwk ,,, .

SikoLog blg ,, kl pertemanan dah lebih dari 7 taon ,, it will be for ever ,, !!!
I agree loh ,, !! ,, . Karenaaaa ,,, in those years ,, qt dh tw jerowan masing2 ,, dan ngelaluwin banyak hal ,, bahkan mungkin yg kritis sekalipun, dan qt melewatinya ,, . Jadiii ,, whats gonna be more worst after ?????

gw trmasuk manusiyak di pertemanan inih ,, yg lebih hanya “menyaksikan” sajah smuwanya ,, . Ga trlalu deep ,, . Dan gw pun juga ga pernah share hal2 pribadi gw dengan yg laen ,, mgkin more dengan kanop, karena sering jalan b2 jugak ,, . Ituh jg lebih sharing keee ,, hal pemikiran sik ,, bukan sharing masalah2,,, . Kalo kanop sik iyak, masalah mulu yg di share ,, wkkwkwkkwkwk ,, . But lain dr ituh ,, none ,, . We hv great times ajah ,, . and we are having fun togather ,, . at least,, me think we did ,, wkwkkwkwkkwkwwkwk

Personally ,, kalo di bilang inih prtemanan toxic ,, ummhh ,, ga jugak loh ,, . Iyah siiiiiiikk ,, some time it was got sooooo worst ,, . But somehow ,, just BUMB ,, kami kembali baik ,, kwkwkkwkwkw ,, . Dan kebaikan dalam pertemanan inih no kaleng2 loh ,, . We can sacrifice much more than others friend relationship i think. Iyah ituh dalam segi materi, perasaan, waktu ,, and mores ,, . Pun tak di sangkal, julitannya cam nge julid di neraka ,, wkwkkwkwkkwkwkwkkw ,,, .

moreover ,, in this age around ,, we, eh ,, gw dink ,, hv thought anyhow ,, relationship should be give benefits in the day after ,,, no argue in this statement. Yup ,, the implementation can be so heterogeneous,, with no out from the goals.

so ,, i will stand in for any relationship type if that give me benefit for the day after ,, .

I will ,, i try ,,, do my best for you gayzh ,, indeeed ,,, . May we get back to gather again in the day after ,,, in the goodness and happiness ,, . amiinn amiiinn aamiinn ,,

.

Continue reading

.

wiiwiwiwiwi ,, this week ,, found final shocking fact about pa bozh ,,, hehehheheheheh ,, . Just can not understand it ,, and am very very very emotional to this situation ,, indeed ,, .

so ,,
#o iya ,, i will intense to use english version due to my current job isn’t supporting my english language further more conversation ,, wkkwkwkwkkwkw ,,

So ,,, last month ,, i think maybe end of Dec ,,, our Bozh inform us, its more like to give us ( SM of each section ) direction to make promotion for our staff ,, . But at that moment i said ” in my opinion its not qualified yet to get promotion this year ,, “. Dah tuh ,, .

thus, 2nd week of Jan ,, Bozh asked Ncang about the promotion ,,, also about my staff . I said the same ,, . I wonder why he terrored ncang ,,, why not asked me again directly if he didnt agree with my opinion ?? get argue with me ,, . And i said to ncang that time :: ” if he (bozh) want to promote my staff by him self ,, pleased ,, . while i promoted to M1, i promoted by DM directly not by my SM ,, . DM have that power ,, ” . Ncang said ,,, ” maybe i will promote my staff due to urgent need for scm section ,, “.

THen ,, end of Jan ,, and again ,, through ncang ,, Bozh asked us to give him the reason why these staffs can not get promotion ,, . Because i was got annual leave, ncang said :: mb hafi please sent the reasons via wasap and i will collect and sent to bozh ,, . I felt weird. So i send the reason via email ,, aka officially ,,, . In my thought ,, ncang will do the same and our bozh will get clear objective from his SMs ,, .

at that time ,, of course am upset aka kzl ,, why bozh not asked directly ,, is it so hard for him ??? and hv to got terror ncang ??? ,,,, . But yaa ,, i thought ,, ya sudah lah yezh ,,, . Personally ,, if bozh want to promote my staff not through me ,, its ok ,, . As objective ,, from my side ,, my staff still can not go promote this year ,, .

Last week ,, randomly i asked ncang ,, ” ncang ,, how bout the promotion ??? “. Ncang said :: ” no one get promotion mb ,, ” . I just thought ,, owh ,, Okeee ,, which means both of them rejected by bozh based on objective email that we sent end of Jan ,, .

DaaaaaaaaaaaaaN PECAH lah this week ,, . Iseng2 i asked ncang ,, ” ncang ,, i want to see your comment about your staff ,, ( the objective mail, that i thought he sent end of Jan ) ,, . And you know what he answred ???????????????????????????? ,,,,, ” saya sudah sempat bikin tapi belum rapi dan belum di kirim ke bozh ,, . Tapi setelah liat email mb hafi ,, saya di panggil dan bozh bilang 22nya ga promosi taon eni, tapi taon depan “.

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANJING NGED TUH BOZH ,, !!!!!
LOE MO NAEK IN STAFF GW ?? YA NAEKIN AJAH ,, !! GA PERLU LIWAD GW JUGA BISA ,, . JANGAN KRNA LOE GA SUKA MA GW, LOE GA NAEKIN STAFF ORANG LAEN !!!. KESIAN STAFF ORANG, GEGARA GW GA APPROVE YG LOE MW ,, TRUSH TANPA OBJECTIVE APAPUN, LO GA NAEKIN YG 1NYA LAGI ,, . ANJING LOE EMANG !!!. DI MANA LOE TW (BUKAN NGERTI, KARNA OTAK LO DI TINGGAL DI BANTAR GEBANG), KEBUTUHAN SECTION SEBELAH UNTUK NAEKIN STAFFNYA MELIHAT QUALITAS SM ITUH SENDIRI YG BAHKAN JAWUH DI BAWAH STAFF YG MO DI NAEKIN. ANJING SUMPAH !! MUWAK GW MA ELU !!

gw ,, jarang se emosi inihhhhhhh ,,, . Dan minggu ini ,, gw full nged of anger ,, ampe solad isinya xuman pengen diredain inih emosi ,, hehehhehehe ,, . #inih ajah nulis lagi,, gw spanneng lagi mpe ubun2 ,,, .

gw tw ,, lo bego ,, lo tolol ,, lo ga suka ma gw ,, tapi jangan lah ketidaksukaan loe ma gw impact ke orang laen ,, . Ingad, karma ituh ada ,, !! ,, . Aseli dari sejak informasi doi mo dimutasiin by AI-1, doi kek ga suka ma gw ,, . Apalah apalah peran gw dengan lo ga di suka ai-1 ?? ziroh !! ,, . Lo d blg ai-1, ga pantas mimpin logistic ya ituh masalah lo, bukan gw ,, .

phewww ,,
se emosi ituh gw ,, .

.

dan jelas !!! ,, it will be impact to my action next ,, . I dont know what its gonna be for next week on so on ,, .

gw ga peduli ma logistic ,, . Yazh responsible gw sbgy SM harus dipertanggungjawabkan ,, . Tapiii ,, dengan smuwa ketidakjelasan arahan dari Bozh, banyaknya job yg di skip ( misal transportation mo di bikin sect sndiri, tanpa informasi apa pun ,, ) ,, i think i dont hv responsible that much juga sik ,, just sesuwaynya ajah ,, .

Just look at Logistic nowdays ,, in your direction ,, just running out ajah tuh ,, . And who cares anyway ?? No body !! ,, . Just let it be ,, . I will just put rice on each plate as well ,,, . But, it will be never be the same again with the bozh ,, .

yah ,, it might just my 1st experience related the promotion ,, . Trush baper maksimal ,, wkkwkwkwkwkwkkw ,,, . Norak yk ??? . Gw xuman ga abis pikir ajah ,, . Yg mgkin hal spt ini, masih akan gw hadapi lagi kl gw masih di aji ,, .
Well actually this is the second sik. Last year, i eager to promote mbD from ST4 to ST5, we already had 2 times mtg, but somehow it just nothing happen ,, . But last year, i dont hv no full right also due to some irregular situation lah ( as official am the SM, but as job desc i just joined ).

yah ,,,
gpp lah ,, . Semoga doi di geser beneran taon enih ,, . Emang secara facta ga bisa sik mimpin logistic. Gw ngomong ini, bukan brarti gw bisa loh. Gw pun butuh arahan baik jika mo di jadikan DM, but gw ga dapet apa pun di jaman doi, minezh bahkan ,, aka pinter kagag begok iya. Butuh tandom yg bagus jugak kl mo jalan bareng di 1 dept tuh nor 1 company.

.
.

anyway ,,,
mangad hafikuw ,,,
inged yezh ,,, ini bukan tentang doi, bukan tentang aji, bukan tentang emosi loe. Sekali lagi ,, this is still tentang allah swt yg loe harus terush fokezh untuk tujuwan loe brtemu dengan THE LORD. And you can not meet The LORD with this anger ,, hehehehhehehe ,,,,,
di bawa chill ajah ,, tetep terush brbuwat baik semampu yg loe bisa ,,
mangaaddd ,, ??

Continue reading

.

jadiiiiii ,,, se otis2 nya gw ,, se introvert2 nya gw ,, se sedikitnya temen gw ,,, gw menyimpulkan bahwa ,,,

1. tiap orang ituh xuman mo di denger 1st, dengerin orang adalah hal yg kesekiyan
2. tiap orang ituh ,, totally merasa dirinya paling bener ,, bahkan wat blind spot yg cukup – sangad blind #Loh ,, wkkwkwkkwkwkkwk
3. tiap orang ituh ego nya luwar bysaaakkk ,, sangad ,,

dan ituhlah manusiyak ,,
dan ituhlah gw ,,

karena gw manusiyak ,, versi gw ,, POV gw ,, gw cukub banyak mendengarkan orang ,, . Totally gw amad sangat jarang share yg seriyuzh pemikiran nor perasaan dll lah ,, pun sharing ,,, its just for fun ,, or wat sosialisasi ajah ,, nothing so serious ,, . what i said ,, it just to feeding their ego ,,, . i dont care much either ,, .

sometimes ,, muak sik ,, tapi ,, its needed wat sosialisasi. Susih yk nemu orang yg apa adanya ajah gituh ,,, . Ya pasti orang baik sik. Gw ajah ga apa adanya juga kan ke orang2 around gw ,, xixiixixxiix ,, .

well ,,
thats life baby ,, xiixixixiixixixi

.

yazh hafiiiii ,,,
ini kolam hafiii ,,,
brtahanlah di sini ,,,
bersavarlah di sini ,,
karena kesavaran pintu syurgaaahhh ,,,,,,,
#lagh tapi kan emang selama ini gw savar yk ,, ?? wkkwkwkkwkwk

Continue reading

.

WFH !!! iyeaayy ,,, !!! ,, . Lagi needs this WFH ,, wkkwkwkkw . Why ??? Yh you know me better lah milie ,, wkkwkwkkwkwk ,,

Dengan smuwa duniyakwik inih ,, yg somehow sudah trprediksi arahnya ,,, Versus ,,, dengan smuwa ke over thinking an gw ,,, dengan smuwa up and down hormone guwe ,,, dengan smuwa gw ,,, sampay kapan yak bisa brtahan ??? ,,, sampay kapan yk ini brlangsung ,, ?? and how its gonna be end up ??? ,,, . well ,,, its just spinning arround ,, more and more ,, over and over ,, isnt it ??? ,, hehehhehehe ,, .

am i still vituperate my self inside ??
yah ,, still ,, ?

.

duhh ,, banyak yg belom di ceritak in ,,,
dari yg jalan2 jogjezh ,,, mpeee ,, mpe apaan yak ??? kwkwkwkkwk ,, .

yg jelaaasss ,,, tudeyy ,,, rasa ketakutan seminggu kemaren dh ulang ,, bisa menikmati duniyakwik lagi ,, . Mgkin smuwa tentang hormone ??? ,,, hehehhehehehe ,, .

But yezh ,,,, tentu gw akan terush brusaha meningkatkan ibadah gw ,,, . Awareness ini ,,, pun up and down ,,, akan linier dengan usaha gw yg up and down ,, . Sebisa mgkin ,, semampu mgkin ,, semaksimal mgkin ,, till end of time ,,,

Continue reading