MiLestoNe

*curcolmodeON*

after … a month ??? from the happening … i think … its time for me to re-build up my way … . event though i think it cant be far away from me right now. sometimes i think … now, i need indeed aLLah touch in this way. I feel already maximum as hafi as human … need aLLah to help me out … . Anyway … still i want to re-build up my way.

am not angry anymore … in fact, am not angry … i cant angry … it just sad and sad and saaaddd. I always pray to aLLah … to guide all of us in the right way … the way that aLLah blessing on. I just want every things good. Am not a good girl … i know that for sure … it just hafi … a woman that sometimes … basically bad tempered …  and i always to muffle those with silent. But sometimes … when things that made me hang on from, faced to me … it sooo soo000ooo difficult not to angry and explode up …  . although in other side … am not sure why i have to angry about ??? not give me benefit in many ways … . But still wanna angry anyway… wakkakkakkkk. Hey, this is just some advice from someone who have bad tempered … when u feel so angry … just go away from that … dont release it to him/her … release to others things … because if u did it … u will regret then …  trust me !!

yes … i confessed that i still very very very very sad … for all that happened. All of this is my faults … positive !!! . This is consequence from decision i’ve made. yes …. i broken down into pieces … . But its become mine to handle out this matter … . Now this is bout me … not others anymore.  This is depends on me how to get out from this sorrow … how to make my life better… anyone cant help me out … . it just aLLah who can help me right now … .

so … what i’ve to re-build up ??? in what way ??? . one for sure :: i wanna be my self !!  ( Heee …. me at right now ??? is someone who not interesting to anything … xixiixixixi 😛 ) . Sometimes … i just thought that .. what i have to do now is … get sit back … leaning on my chair … and try to see from aLLah side … wait will aLLah give to me next … just calm down … .

Yup … what i need to feel and do now is :: CALM DOWN … .  others ??? just STAY FOCUS and STAY at THE LINE (in aLLah line) … . Receiving what aLLah gave to me with ikhlas and ‘realize’ . Go hafi … hope u will survive in this world and the life after … amiinn .. 🙂 .

*****

* wrote on starbucks coffee puri indah while already ngetems here at 8:15 aM, dunt like et humz bikozh there is people that somehow i dont like to them huuekkzzhhhh !! … (what a BT !! .. hehehhehe 😀 ) *

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